Saturday, December 31, 2005


I made my resolutions short sweet and easy to accomplish. I wish I had the tenacity to do a complete medical makeover. It would encounter the physical and psychological difficulties of making changes in my life, such as; eliminating caffeine, sugar, nutrition without colorings and additives, vitamin and mineral supplements, no alcohol, exercise, stress control, and no smoking! Well, who wants to be perfect by dramatically changing their lives, their health, their sense of well-being, and possibly their longevity? Speaking of longevity, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, this New Year's Eve! I always have pork and saurkraut for good luck, I don't where that tradition came about in my family. I didn't go to the buffet last night, what a disappointment, but I surely shaved off a lot of calories for that day. I count it all good. Party hardy, you guys and have a good one! Auf Wiedersehen! HAPPY NEW YEAR to our troops and come home soon, we love and miss you all, Godspeed!

Friday, December 30, 2005

list for 06

One whole month to practice improving one chosen area in my life; 1. Fitness 2. Family 3. Finances 4. Faith 5. Grief Web 6. Diet Web 7. Visit family in PA. 8. Vacation w/my 2 girls 9. Visit my son in NV 10. Increase volunteer work 11. Back to Curves 12. Hair permed. I didn't elaborate on what each title encompassed, but you get the idea. It's all about making small goals to reach a better place.

This past two months of celebrating has been different for me more than ever before. I ate and ate but kept it to one plate at a meal. In the process I have also kept my weight away from the typical holiday seven pound gain. My mainstay for this up coming week is home made soup with turkey and mixed vegetables, not much fat in there. I just have to be careful with my breakfast and lunch. Maybe I should cut out the places I have to go to that have multiple choices of unhealthy foods. It would be easier to change my route than to ponder at a bridge I must cross and not look at the scenery. I am suppose to go for dinner at a buffet with some friends tonight for New Years. I never behave in places like that. The saga begins and so does the count down...........4..3..2..1.. H A P P Y N E W Y E A R T O A L L A N D T O A L L A G O O D N I G H T !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Of course I will be talking about resolutions the next three days. I find it as exhilaration as rubbing on a magic lamp and wishing on a star, one for every wish granted. It's like a big deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, a real stress "reducer." (I like that word) I start out by allowing one request for every year I have been alive, on paper. Wow, the list is too long or have I been alive too long and not lived enough in satisfaction? Then I ask myself why haven't I pursued my hearts desires in life? It's as if I stopped caring about myself, or maybe just got way too busy to make time for me, myself, and I. That is what's enlightening about listing. Now I can see the tree from the forest. Wait a minute, it all seems to overwhelming to make that many changes or improvements on anything. Don't get in a tizzy it's only paper. How about three new chances in life? I look at the list and think what is my three dire needs? I put that on a separate notepad. Good choices, now add three more that you hated to leave behind, to the first three. I choose three wishes four times and end up with one whole month of the next year to work on that one particular change in my life. Even if I don't accomplish that change I move on to the next one for the next month. You can achieve more success when not under constant pressure. As I break the monotony of trying and failing over and over again on the same goal, I pick up some momentum and energy and success along the way. With success comes determination and nudging in the nicest way. No one ever completes their lists when it is long but it broadens your chances of getting what you've always wanted in life but never thought you would have the time to go for it. Yada, yada, yada, I lose control a lot. Have a safe, happy, prosperous, blessed, healthier, better New Year in three days! Tomorrow I will share my list of twelve new desires or changes for myself, which I know I usually only check off about three I achieved at the end of the year. But I think it's fun. PAX VOBISCUM!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


I know it's all in the mind. Let's see if we can fool the psyche into believing we like ouselves. After all, that emotional eating is such a draw back and sometimes even a hidden excuse. This is not in any particular order.

We have to admit that we are weak before we can turn it all around and do a 360 into having a stronger character.

Never dwell on past diet failures, learn from them.

Emotional stress and physical stress can disturb normal metabolic functions.

Food not only feeds the body but also feeds the mind.

You're not necessarily fit or healthy, if you're just being thin.

An intense mental worker needs exercise to keep his mind clear.

A real lead sinker to any diet is the attitude that I've already blown it this time, I guess I'll just eat the rest of this and finish off the day in food exstasy because I will start again tomorrow on my diet.

In most cases overeating is the basic cause of everweight but before attempting any program for weight loss it's best to deterimine why you overeat. Certain emotions can send people to food for its physical solace.

Don't make things too difficult to take care of youself by over extending and volunteering your services. That leaves you with no time for yourself as a first priority.

It's difficult to succeed at anything, especially dieting, with a poor self-image.

Being on a diet constitutes a list of no-nos in relation to your old unconscious eating habits. With perserverance you will condition yourself to automatically eliminate those no-nos and develop an aversion toward the taste of such a distinctive class of foods such as; too sweet, salty, and fatty.

What you eat and what you don't eat, definitely affects your mind, your emotions, and the kind of person you are.

If a subliminal influence is inappropiate, an adult has a protective psychological defense.

People often relive past frustrations even though they can't undo what happened. Sometimes choosing to forgive others and yourself helps one to move on to better thoughts.

Pessimism and the lack of faith can be a major hindrance to healing and possibly interfer with your medications.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


Weigh-in was a 1 1/2 pound loss. I'll take what ever I can get. It's been one month, no time for exercise, two big holiday celebrations, and not too much discretion in what I have been eating. I did cut down some in the amount of food and desserts, definetely no seconds of anything. Now if just a drop of change can result in a small loss, I assume a bigger change will equal a bigger loss. What do I choose? I will finish off this year with baby steps and resolve to increase gradually a healthier life style, a more active life style, and make better choices in the food I eat right after the New Year begins. We all make those many resolutions and never follow through with them all, don't we, or is it just me? Well, we'll see how determined I am this coming year. I must confess I have eaten so far a shoe box full of candy. That is one thing I definitely want to stop. Speaking of stop... Have a Happy Kawanzaa!

Monday, December 26, 2005


Time to boot myself into reality. I still have five more days to end-out this year. I followed my own suggestions to keep the usual holiday gains at bay per say. Because of my lack of sleep these last couple of days I fell into an unexpected confrontation. Let's see, overtired and emotional, aren't those two situations that can trigger a mindless eating fix? I did respond by eating a whole box of cordial cherries before I went to bed last night. I jumped on the scale this morning to see a five pound shoeless gain. Everytime I get in a benevolent mode I begin to brag silently to myself. I get a boot from an experience that tells me that I am only one of the trees in the vast forest. I cannot undo a mistake, but I surely can make up for the damage. Today I slept pass 10:00 am and then I immediately apologized to the victims of my mouth, and began to think what a good girl am I. Wrong thing to do, after all self-pride causes a fall in your up lifted spirit. I then encountered an opportunity to feel my hidden defect of being biased and always denying that fact. I would explain what I mean by that but I don't want to offend anyone, anyway that's between me and GOD. Once more, I still have five more days of over-eating opportunities. Get back on track, it's never too late. So far I have at least stayed away from all second plates of food or desserts other than my cherry excursion last night. Happy Hanukkah!

Sunday, December 25, 2005


One step a day,
keeps fat at bay.
No ... No, you say,
Dessert, go away!
by magmem

Saturday, December 24, 2005


FACTS: Sugar-rich foods supply calories, but are negligible in nutrients and have no fiber. It would be wise not to substitue with high-fat foods instead, that will boost calories even more and clog your arteries.

JOKE: Time to go on a diet when you're shoveling everything down in front of you, and you notice, your fork had come up missing.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

set to go

I will be changing servers, so don't think if there is not a current posting, that must mean I've given up. I'm all set to go on the excursion of a four day celebration with food food food food. I have my mind set by what I posted on the the 21st of this month and plan to follow through with my own tips for getting over this hurdle in a decent manner. I will as usual, use my tally count for every forward move I take in the right direction of healthy eating and a more active life style. I also count everytime I use some kind of control in the amount of food I consume or anytime I say no to something. I even count getting on the scale, that's like facing the music or being accountable for my actions. It keeps me on a long leash. Don't let a little gain deter you from your focus of reaching a healthy weight. Always look at the big (excuse the pun) picture. How much have I lost so far? There has been some ups and downs in between but I am still weighing less than I did seven months ago. I can't wait until I get back to using the weight room (according to my abilities) again then I will see the weight come off much quicker. I do not long to exercise but everytime I ever pushed myself to do it, I always felt better, had more energy, and detected a slight decrease in my appetite. I caught myself rambling again. HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


No animal likes restraint. Believe me, neither do humans when it comes to eating when hungry. Dieters incorpotate it into their life style with results. I still haven't reached that level yet to my satisfaction. This is the only holiday that lasts for over a week straight. It is festive sometimes to excess as far as indulging goodie gifts, family dinners, party goings, snacking on left overs, visiting friends, preparing meals, eatng out with friends, and just staying up too too late and giving yourself another chance to put more calories into your mouth for that day. However, a plan of some kind can at least limit how far one backslides. I am not going to list all of the diet tips we are all aware of. Nothing new has ever been suggested.

Coming up are my eccentric thoughts and tricks I will do to keep myself from feeling restrained during this season! Go ahead and enjoy yourself, you know you always make a New Years Resolution to diet and lose weight when it is all over. I like to say no to one goodie and allow myself the next. Everytime I say no, I get empowered. I will take one bite of one food at a time, put down my fork and think about it as I chew, chew, chew, and chew some more. Pick up the fork and repeat the process. This keeps you occupied for a longer time at one plate. With all of that chewing it feels like work and we all like to shorten our work load. Arrange your food on the dish in a spreading manner so your eyes see a fuller plate. If possible have someone else dish up your servings and pass it to you. Take a small drink of water to clear your palate for he next taste of another choice of food off of your plate. Don't mix the foods in your mouth. Always say, no thank you first, to everything, you can be sure there will be many times someone insists on asking you again if you want something special they have, then you can give in to the second or third offer. Sometimes they ask once and you end up with less calories, that's a good thing. Get up and offer to help clear the table that uses up a few calories. Set a cut off time with yourself about eating past a certain time at night, that is a powerful tool. Coincidently, I just gave 12 ideas to coping with the caloire laden holiday, to go along with the song 12 Days Of Christmas, which we are in. Feliz Navidad.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


No diet drug is without its side effects.

Keeping a dieter's dairy or journal will help prevent calorie amnesia.

The yo-yo syndrome can make weight control a hurdle and may cause many health risks.

Exercise burns calories and releases spirit-lifting hormones known as endorphins.

To prevent sugar lows and minimize sugar highs, only eat sweets with a meal.

Good fats are found in; fish, olive oil, avocado, and nuts.

During a diet, the first several weeks weight loss is mostly a weight loss in body water.

Tomato and tomato juice low in salt, stimulates the kidneys to release more water and helps wash away loosened chunks of fat.

Vitamin A is light-sensitive. Skim milk in semiclear plastic jugs can lose 60 to 90 percent of vitamin A, in a 24 hour period under fluorescent lights in supermarkets.

Vitamin C is an important agent in wound healing.

Monday, December 19, 2005


I know I'm always talking about myself in this blog but that's because, I have a problem, and problems are solved easier by brain storming and seeing it all in black and white. I am obese according to weight standards. I constantly am aware of a need for change if I want to be healthier, live longer, feel minimal pain, increase my energy, raise my endurance level, learn flexibility, extend my bone mass, and not have a "grossness" to my body. The dictionary has grossness and obesity in the same definition line. If I have to see one more time on television, that lady who lost around 275 pounds with extra pounds and mounds of skin that needed to be surgically removed, I'm going to pass out from the grotesqueness; maybe even stop dieting. What will I do with all of that excess skin and no money for op? The way I see it, I have a natural botox injection system built in my face. I even have a sister who had By-Pass surgery over a year ago and wishes she never had it done. Are we ever really satisfied? In my opinion, satisfaction to me is peace of mind in knowing who I am, where I am going, and what is my contribution to life. I have to remind myself not to look for satisfaction in the taste of food or the fullness there of. Instant gratification is fleeting and misleading. There can be times when I think I'm hungry but in a sense, I'm really thirsty. Feed the need? I have noticed when I am on an natural adrenalin high nothing matters to me at that moment but the activity that is stimulating the release of endorphines. That is something that food will never replace if you are an emotional eater. Pick and use your stimulating enjoyment anytime you feel the need to eat improperly. Oops, excuse me it seems like my obsessive compulsion has taken over my blog entry!!! Shalom!

Sunday, December 18, 2005


I chose to stay away from the party yesterday but the managers called and asked if I was going to attend. At their request, I went relunctly and ate I may as well; and that is one of my bad habits. Sometimes I eat just to please others more than myself. I made up my mind before I faced the table of assorted foods, to take no more than one tablespoon. I chose only foods I hardly ever get a chance to taste. I left out all of the usuals you see at any given spread. I never went back to add anything I really enjoyed tasting. I usually do have dessert, a piece of pie seemed to have less calories than a three layer cake loaded with yummy icing. Truthfully, I even have had more than one cake ect.. I stuck with one glass of punch unleaded. I didn't do too bad, I felt I cut back a lot. I dread the up coming week. I would rather stay away from temptation than to struggle with self control. I think food addiction is the hardest to deal with because you can't live without it. I stayed after the party to help clean up and that did burn off some calories. I turned down an offer today to eat dinner at my daughters house with all her candy dishes full and the cookie making endeavor they will be doing in the evening. I need a break from the eating frenzy. Arrivederci!

Saturday, December 17, 2005


I discovered new natural unfound energy yesterday. I utilized it in a manner that had me catching up on five unfinished projects at home. Let me try to analyze this so as to be able to tap into the surge again, when behind in something and bogged down by where to start. I made a monster pot of chicken vegetable soup. It looks like it will last me for about two weeks. I do love soup but also variety. Soup for me is a comforting food and physically filling. If I keep the salt level down how many calories can you really stuff into water? I ate yogurt for breakfast, I like it frozen only. I had two bowls for lunch and one bowl for dinner. It was all satisfying for me for the whole day. I was so jazzed with myself for eating healthy I stayed up late to enjoy the feeling. Now there's my first mistake. I thought about eating soup but I didn't want to bother getting it ready. I grabbed a fast yogurt and topped it of with a string cheese. I guess the sugar in the yogurt made me sleepy, I ran out of gas and hit the sack. Was my productive day due to eating nothing but healthy food and not slugging up my engine? Maybe it was because I had a sense of freedom knowing if I was hungry at anytime, instant gratification was available. Not only that, I didn't have to be on guard about being tempted with calorie laden foods. Actually, tonight is my club Christmas Party which I am debating about if I should go or not. I really want to and should but I know I will be out of control with eating buffet style. Decisions, decisions, they can be draining! Ciao.

Friday, December 16, 2005


Increased risk of cancers for breast, colon, and prostate are caused by fats such as those found in red meats, oils, creams, salad dressings, butter, mayonnaise, and margarine.

Photochemical compounds through a mixture of fruits and vegetables are possible cancer fighters.

Protein daily can avoid hormone shortages.

Zinc is a mineral that aids the immune system in its efforts to prevent diseases.

Nicotine is known to raise blood pressure.

Eating common oat bran muffins or cereal everyday can slash dangerous cholesterol levels by as much as 19 percent.

Too much salt can contribute to high blood pressure, kidney damage, premenstrual water retention and swelling , ringing in the ears, and heart disease.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

eating out

When I eat out it's always a disaster story. Now that I am back to counting my tally marks, six so far today, I seem to be a little more in control of my situations. After shopping I stopped at my daughters for a few minutes. I was hungry, it was past lunch time. I reached for the candy for immediate gratification. I choose to wait a wee longer and eat out with my daughter as planned. Instead of my usual double bacon cheeseburger with fries, I ordered pasta with grilled chicken and one drink of soda only. I also asked for a box to take home part of my serving. For a change my head certainly was not in my stomach. By that I mean my stomach always says it's never enough, give me more. See ya!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I went food shopping today after all of my earrands. Needless to say I was starved. I kept thinking what new fast food place should I hit today. No breakfast, no lunch, no shopping list with me, plenty of browsing time down all of the isles, and a charge card with spending room, that all sounds like I'm asking for trouble. I must be getting smarter or stronger. I only picked out four items I should not have. I did try to balance it by picking out ten items of food of good quality. I skipped the fast food and came home at 7:45 pm and finally ate something left over and quick. Let's see if I can stay away from the four no-nos, until I have a craving, so as not to feel deprived. Just remember don't eat it all at once! Oh yes, I did lose my ATM card, it was not in my purse when I arrived home. I looked for a solution instead of getting frustrated which can lead to eating mindlessly. It's been three days and I haven't yo-yoed yet. I think I'll try to go to bed earlier tonight to fend off any temptations. I bid you adieu.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Now don't jump on that word. I'm talking about my unproductive actions and time. I just did a 24 hour fasting the day before yesterday and finished it off late last night with a big supper before I went to bed. Today I went to a Christmas Party. I thought I would try to do better by not eating anything. Because I was hungry, I took a few pieces of candy, a sliver of cake, and just a few cookies. I was still hungry but didn't go for more of my sugar fixes. Who am I kidding? It's not how much I ate today at the party but it was the empty calories, not good! Yesterday it wasn't so much I broke down and ate a supper, it's eating before bed and not having a chance to burn off any calories, not good either! Why did I suffer through my fast to negate it? Well I did lose three pounds. Keep it off, keep it off, keep it off. It would have been more if I didn't make those two mistakes. I'm beginning to doubt my senses. I'm going to take leave for now.

Monday, December 12, 2005


Feed a cold, starve a fever? I've been feeding my cold for twenty days now, you get the picture. I thought all of the vitamins and nutrients would heal me but I got results from the calories instead. It's been five months since I tried my body cleansing of a fast. Let's see how strong I can be for this one day. At least even a partial fast will be of some value. I do have a lot to do today, maybe being so busy will keep my mind off of stuffing my face and away from the frig. I can hardly wait for Wensday to have my ear aches checked out by my doctor. I didn't go to my weigh-in last Tuesday. I know it will be touch and go this coming week. I should practice saying my excuses for the next day and a half. I wonder who or what I can blame for my gain if one shows up on their scale. Don't everybody yell at one time. Of course I know where any gaing comes from. But in my subconscious I always think my eating habits are "my little secrets" or should I say, BIG secrets. After all, my stomach is stretched out and much bigger than yours, therefore, I always need more to eat to feel satisfied. I think I'll use that one. I'm going to head for the hills.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

step back

Continue to tally, but step back and ponder. I sat boldly in front of this computer and ate more than a dozen pieces of chocolate candy. This baggie of candy is for a lady on the bus that I give candy to everyday. I am so wishy washy about my temptations and cravings. Tomorrow I will give it all to her and tell her that I can't have it in my house anymore. I must go back to the no-fail environment. My house is bulging with food, even too much of the right kinds of food will put on the weight. I liked it when I never knew where the next meal was coming from. (No dealing with binging.) Maybe because that was what my life was like a lot of times. Sort of a learned condition response. (Eat when ever you can.) I should plan a strategy to avoid uncontrolled eating and stick to a set menue. I'm the kind of person that likes guide lines, that leaves little room for faillure. By Jove, I think I've got it!

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Yesterday I had six tally marks.

On 11/18 I spoke on the cons of some herbs, now for the pros, all things must balance. The herb Echinacea is said to protect healthy cells from attack by viruses and bacteria and aids in the growth of healthy new cell tissue. Green Tea contains a chemical that possibly prevents cancer cells in the body from dividing and may lower your cholesterol and improve your HDL to LDL ratio. Garlic, a half of a clove daily, reduces cholesterol level an average of 9 percent and prevents "bad" LDL cholesterol from being oxidized. Oxidized cholesterol damages arteries. Cayenne Pepper may promote calorie burning, supporting your diet and exercise efforts, also aids in digestion and absorption of nutrients, and can reduce excess appetite that is due to malabsoption; a commom condition in overweight people.

Disclaimer: Herbs interact with each other and with many prescription drugs. Always check with your doctor, what you intend to take. Even garlic capsules; you may have to adjust doses of apirin or other anticoagulants, to prevent excess bleeding. When botanicals are used in large amounts or over a long period of time damage may occur in the kidneys, liver, and other organs. Just as pharmaceutical drugs can cause side effects, so can herbs that produce a therapeutic effect.

Moderation in everything sounds like a good balance to me, although I battle with food consumpton. It's good, it's bad, it's good, it's bad; no wonder there is so much confusion in life. The air you breath, the water you drink, the food you eat, your meds, the authority figures, and even your own mind can all be a hinderance to a persons good long healthy happy life! It's all ambiguous to me. How do you stand? Cheerio.

Friday, December 09, 2005


I'm still sick. I feel like an underdog. Nobody comes over to the side of minority, unsuccessful, failure, ruin, defeat, perdition, flop, a constant gainer, and you get the picture. Believe me my fat is not catchy. The big "L" only has viewers when it represents losing weight. I don't want to do it for others, I don't want to do it for others, I need to do it for myself, I must do it for myself if I am unsatisfied with my statue and health or at least want to live longer; and I do the older I get. That's it, I am going back to counting tally marks of good behavior towards a healthier life stlye. It's so hard to get back on track when I let a long time span prevail. Time to review my own words on most of my entries, which I have been doing, but seeing is not enough, doing is what counts. Rally, rally, rah, rah, I'm in your corner self!

Thursday, December 08, 2005


FACT: Overweight women who lost eleven pounds reduced arthritis in the knee by 50 percent.

JOKE: Consider restricting your calorie intake if, within the last month, you have burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A motionless body or mind interferes with enthusiasm and motivation.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


The face is average, it's a shame,
to sit upon an obese frame.
My appetite I cannot tame,
food addiction is to blame.
by magmem

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


In a weight conscious life style you should watch portions, preparations, and food selections.

A person can educate their palate to prefer low-fat foods.

When served foods with gravies or creamed sauces, brush toppings aside or ask for it separate.

When replacing a regular goodie with a fat-free goodie instead, remember to eat the same portion or amount that you normally eat.

Stuffing of food into the mouth can be an oral fixation along with the ritual of smoking hand to mouth motion. Any kind of handiwork provides a different kind of solace to the one trying to break this particular habit. Try crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, sewing, writing a letter or card, balancing your finances or checkbook, reading a magazine, clipping your nails, pulling weeds, etc, etc; keeping your hands busy in any of these manners will be a great substitute for eating at the wrong time but feeling the motions of consolation.

People need to find an acceptable means to fulfill their bodily needs for physical closeness.

The most important consideration with diet drugs is carefully weighing the risks and the benefits, and being supervised by a physician.

Other than calibrated scales, most scales are off a few pounds and need reset often. Don't look for accuracy or consistency in readings.

It is estimated that 20 percent of men and 40 percent of women are trying to lose weight.

In regards to gaining and losing fat, more fat cells can be created but not destroyed, they only shrink.

The condiments you use that you don't even count may sabotage all of your efforts to reach a healthy weight at the end of the year.

Monday, December 05, 2005

eating out again

What, eating out again, today? I just complained about being in a situation I had little say so over and there I go today with someone on purpose to a buffet. There was a reason this happened and it had very little to do with me being hungry. I have no trouble at all role playing. I could hear the people saying "I can see why she is so fat." Something has snapped and I am going in the wrong direction. I don't know what is wrong with me. Forget the tally marks I deserve no notches on my diet belt. Maybe I should take a respite. I will admit I am still sick, It's been over two weeks. Why do diary/journal posting if not to help others in their struggles with life changing suggestions? No more personal postings for me until I can straighten up and fly right. Back to just the facts that should be put into actions on paper or more specific, on screen. See you later gater, don't be a hater.

eating out

I'm not going to complain about the situation. I'm going to complain about myself. Just because I am a tally mark doer, I automatically assumed I could withstand any food festival. When I went to San Diego this past weekend I ended up in the presence of international food booths lined up one after another for blocks at a time. To make it even harder on myself I had to stay with my people there for over six hours and it was at no cost to me. I was strong for the first hour or so and the minute I let my guard down, I opened the door up to binge eating. My senses of smell and sight along with hunger pangs drove me to tasting some small portions here and there for the remaining five hours. I became oblivious to the fact I was full in my stomach. That was one day, but I still had one more day in a town of excitement to stimulate my digestive juices. Anyway, I thought walking around a lot, gave me the freedom to use that exercise as a catalyst to keeping my weight in check by burning off the extra calories. The bottom line is by Tuesday I will be suprised I didn't walk around enough to compensate for my consumption of foods in a continual snacking manner. I better practice these excuses to spout off when someone asks me " what happened to your seven pound weight loss the last two weeks?" Chow, goodbye, but chow down I sure did!!!

Friday, December 02, 2005


Break the vicious cycle. Overeating for emotional reasons is the worst of all cycles. I overeat because I'm upset, I gain weight because I overeat and then I get upset because I've gained weight. Will it ever end?

Do not be discouraged when you go off of your diet and have a binge. this occasionally happens to most dieters.

When suffering with eating disorder tendencies getting professional help for direction and support is all well and good but the first step to recovery is to take responsibility for your own actions. No one else can do it for you.

Be satisfiied with a small victory and recognize that you are progressing with each little building block for long-term success.

Motivation and perception are two factors that are particularly pertinent to the shaping of food habits. Motivation stems from a primary biological drive, your needs and your goals. Perception is the process of adding meaning to what is taken in through the senses.

When an irresistible urge strikes try to resist momentairly. Most cravings willl pass in 10 minutes. Divert your attention to some activity. You can telephone a friend, click on the computer, balance your checkbook, take a walk outside, meditate, clean out your purse, read the sports page in the newspaper, turn up some good dance music and burn off a calorie or two, or give a hug and kiss to someone and tell them how much you love them. Time in life is never enough.

Help minimize your silhouette, use a thin or small purse; never add bulk where you are already bulky.

You can save 180 calories and 20 fat grams a day if you eat a sandwich with two tablespoons of mustard instead of mayonnaise.

Nutrition wise you can replace fruit servings with vegetables but do not replace vegetable servings with fruits.

Eating fat reduces the effectiveness of the immune system.

A contributing factor to peptic ulcers is often; worry, usually those things aren't as bad as the illness it can create.

I'm outta here, going to San Diego this weekend. I can't imagine missing the big football game tomorrow. Aloha.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Yesterday I got on the band wagon about the cons on caffeine. Last night I heard on the news that caffeine is good for you in moderation. I wish the Scientists would make up their minds. I do try very hard to stay away from caffeine because I have been addicted to it before with the headaches and withdrawals the whole nine yards. So what do I do after hearing the up-date, I go ahead and drink a cola. I'll be dragging for a couple of days when I come down from my little caffeine buzz.

I am a little jazzed about the victory I had today in control. At least two times I faced a long table with food and of course desserts. I looked it over and decided that's not good enough for me. I'm getting into the habit of passing on foods that are just fillers to me and not saliva producing temptations. I find that when I eat something I really enjoy very much a smaller portion is satiating. When I eat whatever is available I still feel hungry even though my stomach feels full. Of course I have to mention my tally count for each day has increased from one a day to seven for now. I wonder how high I will go. Too bad fat doesn't melt in the rain. I have been thinking I did something wrong on my template for this blog. I haven't received a comment in a very long time not even any spam that is very strange. Adios.......

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Do you have any compelling cravings that you always give in to? I do with food, caffeine, sugars, spending, and gambling, when I have the chance, they all are too hard to give up. The Department of Health, Education and Welfare lists calleine as addictive, along with nicotine and heroin, and admits that if caffeine were a new drug, the manufacturer would have great difficulty in getting a licnse to sell it, and it would no doubt be available only by prescription. Three distinct signs of addiction are: tolerance for the so called drug, withdrawal symptoms when it is removed, and a craving after being deprived. Data increasingly shows that caffeine is implicated in several types of cancer, including leukemia and pancreatic cancer,etc. That's what I read a very long time ago. If food is an ever-present temptation to which we constantly yield----then it is clear we are in bondage. The addiction of compulsive eating tends to be chronic and progressive. Food cravings are often triggered by sharp swings in blood sugar. Poor frustration and anxiety tolerance is usually associated with food addicits. Shame and scare tatics will not motivate anyone to change their eating habits.

I certainly am changing mine a little at a time, and one day at a time. Yesterday I was given a carmel apple pie the size of a very very large pizza. I took it home had one piece it was so good I knew I would eat the whole thing. When I got up in the morning, the very first thing I did was get out enough of containers to hold the rest of the temptating pie. I gave away about twelve servings to the people I spend time with during the day. It made me feel good, it made my friends happy, and it gave me a sense of freedom from the overeating goblin. Today at the lunch room there was a birthday party I ate nothing there, but I did sing happy birthday. I gave myself a tally mark for each control I had. There I go again making this a long page!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I lost three more pounds, every little bit counts. If it works for you keep with the program until there is no more success. From there you try other variables that jerk your body out of the doldrums. Don't be complacent anymore about an unhealthy body, mind, or soul. What good is a ship without a destination? I set my goal for now, to count any positive action in the direction of adding new good habits and dropping old bad habits. I mark down a tally slash each time and try to increase a little daily. So far in eight days I have earned 52 marks. One pound here and there is good for me, 45# this year. Most important is to relieve the stress in your life. Chill out, remember no matter what, this too shall pass. In stress, the body releases a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol increases insulin resistance, in which cells don't use insulin efficiently. Yada yada I find it hard to even control my words. On a lighter note: why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.......

Monday, November 28, 2005


If you let your emotions run your life you're in deep trouble. I blame my weight on all of my maladies instead of my eating habits. I have been sick for over a week now and I heard that when you are sick you don't feel like eating. Not! I do agree you don't feel like moving around as much, rest can be very important, but there goes the moving theory to burn off calories. Hardly any visitors here have a weight problem or concern. Although, no one person ever is completely in control of their emotions. I keep a reminder handy on how to walk through any issue that can control my mind or body (weight) without my full consent. I just need to review it more often. Mental anguish over situations? I try to walk through the pain and peal back the layers of emotions until I find the layer of self love. I Begin to think about how to deal with the issues, one at a time, for me right now it is weight. What makes me (you) happy? Use that happy thing as a catalyst to help jump start you to a better place. For me it should be listen to loud music when I feel like overeating, that will help me reduce my calorie intake. For everyone else and me at times it is best to increase the energy output by moving around or exercising because it increases the chemical in your brain that is called beta-endorphins that makes for a natural high in the body, a feel good emotion. Confession is good for the soul admit to yourself the problem. Surrender your nemesis, obsession, addiction, whatever it is that holds you back from improving, to a Higher Power (for me that's God). We all need help in life. Treat the bad stuff as if it were a desease that will cost you your life. Keep in mind there is always hope!!! I express a disclaimer that I am not telling anyone how to live through any problems in life per say I am only sharing what works for me at difficult times. Anyway I thought I would change my whining tune about being fat which no one wants to hear about and get really heavy in discussion. I promise no more. Thanks, that felt good to plow off some steam.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


FACT: (GI) Glycemic Index indicates how fast a carbohydrate containing food is digested and how much it causes blood glucose to rise, this is called the glycemic response.

JOKE: "Why is your cousin trying to lose weight again? She's already the skinniest girl in town." "Some people are afraid of heights. She's afraid of widths."

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The pase is history, the future is a mystery, and all we have is the present and that is a gift.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


Why remember only the fat years?
Look to the future thin ones,
so exercise those buns!
No more hidden tears.
by magmem

Friday, November 25, 2005

scale tale

I've had 31/2 hours of sleep so far and couldn't wait to jump on the scale to see how good I am doing. I'm disappointed and should go back to bed and and sleep off the debilitating motivational block. I have this fixation for the scale to validate me. My oc has me sharing time with the scale about six times a day. One time I decided to put the scale in the trunk of the car for awhile to wean myself off. It was like the "Whit Elephant Thought" in psychology. I made it through that day but just couldn't sleep until I went outside in my bed clothes to the car and brought in my pet. I know I said to give myself one week of good health tally marks before the results will show up in some manner. I have noticed about myself when I weigh-lite I allow myself a little cheating. When I weigh-more I cut back a bit. When I weigh the same I feel secure. I never claimed to be totally sensible. This does make sense though, the scale is no indication of your true success. It's not only how you look but how you feel and what's your body composition. Besides it's the clothes that tell the tale. I am thankful I don't have all of those good left overs to tempt me the rest of the week. Come to think of it I did not eat one piece of chocolate candy yesterday at my daughters house that's another first!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

tally count

Three cheers for "football"!!! Counting today it has been three days and 24 tally marks. Just thinking about those steps forward makes me even, feel lighter. I knew I should, I thought I could, I said I would, and I am keeping track. I took some of everything but didn't stack my plate as usual. For the first time in my life, I did not go back for seconds. I ate the dessert and walked slowly up and down the stairway a couple of times. I decided to go home early so as not to be tempted to overeat for the next coming meal that evening. Or the usual, all day long grazing that follows this particular holiday meal. I even said no emphatically to taking home any food or leftovers. I've always been known as the human garabage disposal. I'm no angel though. I always cover my bottom. Instead of kicking myself later because I said no again and again. I did bring home a piece of pie. After I consumed it, I felt like I didn't really enjoy it. That was my only mistake for today. I mean I straight-up turned down soda pop too. Whoo-Yah!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Gosh I haven't had a hooray for myself in a while. I had a 4 pound loss at my weigh-in last night. I guess it's about time I take my own advise and continue for a week doing my tally marks for any good action I take toward a healthier life style. Beware mr gobble gobble you're not going to mesmerize me at the table this time and make me stay until all the available food disappears. I may even walk up and down my daughter's stairway a couple of times after dessert. See you lighter when? Happy Thanksgiving! I know I have plenty in my life to be thankful for!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


After making a mistake, create a new plan and stay on your program faithfully and in one week you will begin to see a difference. Simple carbohydrates only provide calories! I like to give myself points for doing something constructive towards any goal I set. For instance if I take my vitamins and minerals for that day I tally one mark on paper. If I do some type of exercise, eat a salad, drink 8 glasses of water, eat nothing after 7:30 pm, deny myself a sweet, review anything on nutrition or diets or motivation, seek out support in a weak moment, eat my three meals for that day, or do whatever helps me toward my health improvement each day gets a tally mark. I try to increase my total of tallies everyday. Adding new and different tasks keeps things from being monotonous and boring. I don't feel too bad when I see only one or two tally marks because that represents I have not given up I still have a chance. It's been a while, and the bottom of this page says only 35# loss but it's still a sweet victory. Chow.

Monday, November 21, 2005


My dumb scale just doesn't want to cooperate with me! I think all of those salty pickles I ate last week have made my feet, ankles, and calves swell up with excess water again. I only had two meals yesterday, they both had pasta in it. I wonder if my insulin resistant metabolism refused to burn any calories. Maybe that all slowed me down and made me feel those sugar lows that contributed to my sedentary day. I know I worked on the computer about six hours combined. I ended up frustrated because I wasn't getting any results or cooperation from the dumb computer either. I poured too much sea salt in the spaghetti sauce I made yesterday but didn't want to waste it and throw it out so I ate it and still have enough for the rest of the week. It made me so thirsty that the middle of my tongue was dry all day and night no matter how much water I drank to hydrate it. My o/c twisted my arm this past weekend to attend the club buffet for the Thanksgiving feast. I'm not myself this past month, I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Oh yes, I am full of excuses. Someone slap my face I'm in a stupor. {(I>:)~

Sunday, November 20, 2005


Calcium diminishes the effectiveness of iron. It's better to take iron supplements with a glass of juice rather than with a glass of milk.

Mega doses of vitamins and minerals can suppress normal immune functioning.

Anabolic steroids does promote muscle growth but in large doses can; produce acne, thinning of hair, liver damage, menstrual irregularity, heart problems, smaller testicles, low-sperm count, and diminished libido.

The common sit-up is not a good exercise because it can strain the back. It is best to isolate specific muscle groups; the upper abdominal, the external oblique, and the middle abdominal region.

Most husbands agree that having a wife with a perfect body is not that important, it's how self-accepting she is of herself and how enthusiastically she responds to their togetherness that really counts.

If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, than accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die full and happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Take it when the spurt of motivation hits you don't put it off for one second! Start your new plan and realize you will never succeed in anything without experiencing some failures. I am going to the club buffet tonight, etc, etc. I dissent my declaration yesterday of taking a hiatus for the holidays. You can't reach a goal by standing still and doing nothing or putting it off till another time because something always comes up (S... happens.) I just wanted to thank She put on some graphic of fat representation in my blog for me and I'm lovin' it. Now if I can't feel it and others can't see it, I will still know the statistics don't lie. I'm all into visual stimulation to where I am at a given moment, or should I say in the last four years? Here's to not giving up.

Friday, November 18, 2005


I read in "Good Health" magazine; Herb Alert, 5 to avoid. The products listed below, which are usually sold in tea, tablet, capsul or extract form, are considered potentially dangerous by the Food and Drug Administration because they have been linked to serious health consesquences including liver failure, respiratory problems and , in some cases, death. The health claims are unproven.
CHAPARRAL is touted as an antioxidant, cancer cure and acne treatment.
JIN BU HUAN is touted as a sleep aid and pain reliever.
COMFREY is touted as an arthritis cure, healing agent and mood enhancer.
LOBELIA is touted as a sedative and nicotine replacement.
MA HUANG (ephedra) is touted as a weight-loss aid and energy booster.

Very interesting, now to find someting (pros and cons) good to say about herbs. Anything, just to avoid talking over and over again about eating and gaining as usual. I'm in a rut, time to step away and get a new perspective. I'm not going to fight all of the up coming holidays. I'm not bailing-out, I'm on hiatus. I will continue with nutritional statements that are beneficial for all to hear.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

stay in check

I always greet my club members on the phone with "this is you're conscience speaking are you watching what you're eat?" Well at the weigh-in, which I don't want to talk about, someone woke me up with a question also. Why do you call me and ask such, when you aren't asking yourself the same thing, therefore the gain? Funny how the truth hurts. I became vigil again for a couple of days. Then last night I knew I was hungry but I continued to stay up way past my bedtime. Actually it was four and a half hours longer than usual. At 2:30 am I lost control and ate a plate full of lunch meat, cream cheese, and pickles. As usual I didn't stop there. Then came the dessert, a bowl full of apple sauce with 3/4 cup of whipped cream and lots of cherries. I was in a feeding frenzy. Why did I waste my two day vigil and stay up past another (every four hours) feeding time? Stay in check girl!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


In dealing with addictions, partial withdrawals are a lot harder than complete abstinence. They are as such: tabacco, alcoholl, drugs, caffeine, sex, gambling, sugar, and food to name a few. We may feel as if we can't live without our addictions, but in essence food is he only substance we will die without! All of our maladies are more of a psychological need with uncomfortable symptomatic withdrawals.

Cigarettes are addicting in the same sense as heroin.

Alcoholism is frequently asociated with poor nutrition.

Women who are trying to conceive would be wise to forgo caffeine. One cup of coffee daily can lower fertility.

Appetite depressant medications can become addictive especially if misused, they're only a crutch not a solution.

As with other addictions, eating disorders takes a person's emotional health and twists them into a knot. The spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I don't feel like talking today I am so up set with myself. In the past week I have split open and torn three pairs of slacks that cannot be repaired. Don't tell me I now have to go completely into all stretch or polyester materials. The scale must be hiding something from me. I only see a few pounds gain which goes up and down all of the time. That's nothing new? Plus tonight is weigh-in and I didn't take my water pills. I'm also tired of taking water pills just to get a loss that really is not a loss when I go back to drinking the water. Maybe I should cut down or out the added salt in my foods. Yes, I know what to do, but when am I going to utilize all that I know, about how to lose weight? Did I say I don't feel like talking? Hello obsessive compulsion. I always have a hard time stopping..........

Monday, November 14, 2005


I have my game on but I'm not making the right moves. I went from being sedentary to busy per say. I introduced some exercise into my life stlye. I started to journal to see how I eat and the worst habits I have that make me over weight. I incorporated support from a weight control group of people. I hitched a ride on the diet wave on the computer. I shop for food so that my house is not lacking. I read all of the diet materials that ever come my way and review all of my old books that have been accumulating. I've passed up many opportunities to eat the wrong kinds of foods. I have even fasted a few times. I had a policy of no-fail foods in my house. It all added up to me losing some weight. I became a little over-confident. I let my guard down a few times. Each time I did that, it got easier to do it more often. Now my motivation is waning. The gaining, yo-yo style, is back. I thought since I hooray, boot, pat on the back, brag, complain, and wonder, it's time I cheer myself on again and introduce a new approach. It's never too too late unless you're already dead from obese complications. I know this was boring to read if you can't relate. So maybe I should leave with a tid bit of information that can benefit anyone.

The hypothalamus section in the brain balances the appetite-control mechanism. One portion tells the body when to eat. Another portion tells it when to stop. It takes only an infinitesimal imbalance to cause a slight malfunction. The healthier the hypothalamus, the greater its accuracy. It is kept healthy through the nutrients it receives. Proper nutrition at least can make it work at its optimum efficiency. (Now that's what I'm talking about. DO IT RIGHT.)

Sunday, November 13, 2005


FACT: Just as the temperature in a room is controlled by a thermostat, so is a person's weight controlled by his appestat.

JOKE: Is there a restraining order against you from the Association Of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Hot heads and cold hearts never solve anything.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

fooling myself

Yesterday a group of us went to a buffet. That's not a good place for me to be. I thought I had things under control by bring one plate at a time back to the table. I skipped the salad bar. My meat plate was full in layers. I could have eaten another plate. Have your dessert and quit I said to myself. Yes that was full also. On my way back to my seat I saw tables of people turn their heads and stare at what was on my plate. I did not get that reaction with the hot food. Let's see now does that mean fat people are not allowed desserts? Or is it a response to someone saying look at that, no wonder she's so fat! All of the sweets were not enjoyable. I do have a bad habit of not wanting to waste food so I ate that also. I didn't like the sweet taste left on my tongue so I went back for a couple of potatoes and some mushrooms. Yes I was totally full but not stuffed to the gills. I thought I did, not too bad, and at the end of the night I found out how wrong I was. I had on a new pair of slacks that ripped open in the back from my torso down through my pant leg. It was thirteen inches long. I usually try to always make myself look good (not physically) by trying to save face. I pat myself on the back and say that's a step in the right direction for today. I never make another posting that same day telling how I mess up. My excess weight is there for all the world to see what a fool I am.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Life has its ups and downs. Inside of us all is a light of hope. Being "Veteran's Day," I salute all and give my thanks!!! It's not about me it's about life lived. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.* Here are some pondering revelations:

Walk in someone else's shoes and yours will seem more comfortable.

Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half-sorrow.

Sometimes it is not good enough to do your best; you have to do what's required.

Change can come in either of two important ways: start behaving positively or stop behaving negatively.

Great goals are never reached by following the line of least PERSISTENCE!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

besides the weight

More than losing weight, I desire to have other means restored in my life. That would include the end of submerged embarrasment, enjoying park rides, back to dancing for hours at a time, being able to see my feet when I look down, to breathe with ease, to reach to scratch my own back, and once again trust myself to be in control when surrounded by food. I really enjoyed aerobics with the loud music. It would be hot if I thought about other things in life besides food. Food does occupy a lot of my thinking time. Here's a light bulb; the thought comes before the action. It takes work to change habits!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


This is your conscience speaking, are you watching what you're eating? I always throw that initial greeting out there to my diet club members. When am I going to face the mirror and tell myself the same hidden tutelage for taking off pounds? I haven't bragged lately about any numbers that prove I am being diligent. It's up It's down and who cares anyway? I know I have to learn to care a little bit more to be consistant. I am still doing little improvements one day at a time. Yesterday I passed up small pecan pie tarts in the coffee room. I did my whole hour (in slow motion) in the weight room. I ate salad for dinner the night before last. Now I have a confession, yesterday I had a one pound gain! I'm not giving up yet. Good luck with your intentions. I think tomorrow I will review with myself some of the reasons I really want to lose weight.

Monday, November 07, 2005

taste buds

By sheer discovery, I have begun to recognize the fact that you can train your taste buds to like and crave healthy foods. I ate Halloween candy given to me by my daughter to cut down on the candy available in her house. It was an awful lot of chocolate one of my trigger, foods, per say. The first one was good tasting but didn't make my mouth water as usual. Of course I continued until the whole grocery bag was empty, that's part of my compulsion! The more I ate, the more I didn't care that much for the tastes. I had to get the temptation out of my sight by eliminating it into my stomach. Then there was the lunch I had put in front of me at the center. I froze, staring at this baked potato that had no pazazz. (Globs of butter, grains of salt, chunks of cheese, mounds of sour cream, and chives for added color.) It was unclad but had this teeny weeny yellow spot on it I think it was called a pat. One smash and it disappeared. By golly I ate the whole thing in good taste, so that's what butter with a whole lot of white stuff tastes like? Not bad at all. If I could do it everytime, I would count it all good habits to live longer by.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Identify your food triggers and look for patterns, that is the key to being in control and using behavior modification.

It is important that you don't feel deprived when trying to follow any type of fitness program. You can eat just about anything you want, what's most imporant is portion control and moderation.

A thin-overweight person can regain all, plus some more, of the lost pounds they struggled to shed if they ever let down their guard.

Certain habits that are learned, are habits only as long as one continues them.

Potassium is important for muscular activity, but is lost through perspiration.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Open my mouth, food jumps in.
Diet again, I never win,
why even try to be thin?
Because, gluttony is a sin!
by magmem

Thursday, November 03, 2005

gloom doom

I feel as if I'm in a war zone inside my body. I always have the little good pixie on my right shoulder. It knows what is best for my welfare. Then there is the counter part pixie on my left shoulder. It is getting fatter and weighing heavier for my attention. I felt this week was a success because I made it over the hump of the week in the right direction. Here it is Thursday and I find myself at home with a large double layer cake, two take-out meals (I've already eaten two so far today), and about four pounds of chocolate Halloween candy! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT GOT HERE. Have you ever set yourself up for failure? Here's the kicker. I have three pressing family matters to deal with tonight. AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY?????

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


My spuddy buddy tator is a good or bad food for me. It all depends on how I choose the way it is cooked. The higher the fat content relates to how much the potato is exposed on the surface to fat or oil. (Sour cream and cheese adds insult to injury.) I'm lovin' it but it's killing me. Usually my fat potato chip is scooping up more fats with every dip it can jump into. Of course, that's on a bad day. I have good days also. Oh my, here comes the three eating holidays one right after the other! I should stay focused and be informed every day for progressive strengh. I'm going to need it. Here are some eye opening figures:
30 gr. 450 3 oz. potato chips
15 gr. 265 3 oz. small cut fries
12 gr. 220 3 oz. large cut fries
5 gr. 155 3 oz. roast potatoes
0 gr. 65 3 oz. baked potato

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Okay I lost seven pounds at weigh-in tonight. I said I was going to lose weight by hook or by crook. I had to take one water pill last week and one water pill this week and my two week ago seven pound gain is gone. Now if I would have done things right, I would have cut down on my salty foods and lost the water gain without using a crutch. I always look for short cuts and extreme measures like wearing light-weight clothing. Or I try skipping eating all day until I get home that night after weigh ins. I'm confessing to doing it the wrong way once in a while. I am only hurting myself because I am reinforcing more bad habits. I have though, since I started five months ago, incorporated more good habits to replace some of the bad habits so far. Some day I will have all good habits and be a healthy weight for my statue etc. It is getting easier as I go along at a much slower pace than most would be dieters. I started out complaining about how obese people are treated and their needs are over looked. But only I can make the change for myself!!

Monday, October 31, 2005


FACT : Motivation and perception are two factors that are particularly pertinent to the shaping of food habits. Motivation stems from a primary biological drive, your needs, and your goals. Perception is the process of adding meaning to what is taken in through the senses.

JOKE : After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, but more so by the obstacles which one has over come while trying to succeed.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

jot down

Keep yourself honest. Refer to what you jot down about your journey of change. Keep it simple with a word or two to start off with. It will become an excellent motivator. You will beging to see; where you are, where you're going, what you want, what your obstacles are, and how faithful you are in your efforts either way(to lose or gain). See what you taste, eat, and how often you move or don't move around. No more calorie amnesia, identify trigger foods, recognize the emotional hunger times, and with all of this revelation you will build motivation for self-improvement and gain self-discipline. The most powerful proven aid for dieters is the food journal/diary. Sometimes I carry a little piece of paper with me just incase there is someting that happens during the day that I just may forget to put in my daily journal. Shorter is better, right? I like to keep your attention. Thanks for listening. Sometimes all we really need is a listening ear to bend.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

journalize it

Hello friend. You know how you look into the mirror to see if you look just-right or if you approve of what you see? When there is something even minute, you're apt to make an immediately change, correction, or resolution. How many times do we avoid the mirror because we know the scene, but don't want to be reminded of what is there to see. How about the mirrors in the stores that show the sides and back view? A problem there? Well, guess what? If you journalize your life, period, it is like facing up to things. Things look so much clearer, nothing gets left out, nothing gets forgotten, and it's so much easier to remember or review. Now comes the best part of all, it is like looking through yourself with an x-ray and seeing the inside of your brainy thoughts! Do I like my insides as much as my outside views? Would I want others to know who I really am or how I really live? Now is the time to get to know yourself better and start to make some changes one at a time, if needed. Check in on the post for tomorrow and I'll talk about a diet journal. Thanks for stopping by. (< :)~

Friday, October 28, 2005


I'm tired of feeling guilty about items and things that break or collapse under my pressure. I have seen a lot of other people who also carry around extra extra weight. I wonder if they ever have this kind of predicament? Here are a few of my broken experiences. I have caved-in and broked two toilet seats at other people's homes including my own. I was sitting at a kitchen table at a neighbor's house and the stupid chair smashed to the floor and broke, yes I was embarrassed. I stepped up on a bunkbed ladder for a minute and it broke down. I put my one knee on a living room ottoman chair to reach for something and the middle support-board under the chair broke and I sunk in. Using a desk chair at the computer has been a costly item to repalce, each time I have to go to a more expensive style for better support. I broke twice, the driver's seat floor-runner for moving forward or backwards. The brackets came up off of the floor. I broke the chain links and the wooden swing on a family member's front patio. I had a friend one time who had a car which always made noises when I rode in it, only. It lost it's shock absorbency on the passenger front side. There was this big thick wooden rocking chair, actually it was two and you get the picture. I had this room divider-seperation between the hallway and a back bedroom under the mobile home. It was a weak spot so I stepped over it everytime. It was about five inches wide. After two years the gap was probably about two feet wide. Way to wide for me to step over it any longer, I did miss the mark and heard and felt the sinking. One more story, this is becoming monotonous. I have been using the weight room for four months now and I have a favorite machine I always use. Yes I am the biggest person that uses it. I pretty much keep it at a low level so I can stay on it a little longer. It's a stair climber but it is one that you can sit on and use along with your arms. One Friday I tried to push myself to the limits and raised it to the fifth level and went for 20 minutes sprinting on and off. It made squeaking noises and some other sounds mildly. When I returned after the weekend I saw an out of order sign on it. It has been three weeks now, still waiting for it to be fixed. Sorry for the sound-off. Sometimes it just is a theraputic release.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


I will get back to posting later after I see if I was able to overcome all of todays temptations. I went for coffee and there were cakes to go with it, I arrived for a meeting and it was full of candy and all kinds of goodies for a party, later lunch will be free, in the later part of the day there will be a table at the hall full of about fifteen choices of goodies again, and then I arrive home about 8:45 pm starved because I had no time for any of my three meals. I will definitely eat then but, if only I can stay strong and not be tempted by all of the dumb stuff always thrown in my face. Yesterday I ate two large salads only but had a two pound gain. Alas.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I couldn't weigh-in yesterday, the meeting was canceled. I know I had a small loss and wanted it to get recorded. I hope I can hold on to the loss for next week. I was at the eye doctor's office today, I haven't been there in six months. The doctor looked at me and said, "have you lost weight?" I said no! When I got home I had to look up my last visit date. I weighed 290 pounds then and now I weigh about 268. That little reflection back gave a jolt of motivation. It's not the daily ups and downs on the scale that I should be checking on. I would say it's the big (pun) picture that counts. I didn't get like this overnight so I should allow myself some slack and continue to try to change all of my bad eating habits one at a time.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


If your motivation is strong and you've come to grips with the recognition of your emotional needs, the changing of your food patterns shouldn't be difficult.

The more nutritious things you eat, the less room there'll be for those impulse items.

Being that soup is psychologically gratifying, a bowl before a meal has an unusual capacity to suppress hunger.

A corollary to the habit of eating less is the habit of eating slowly.

I know all of that, physician heal thyself! Well, I'm working on it, even if it is an on and off again attempt. At least I'm not giving up. I also know that consistency brings about faster results. I think I read somewere that losing, gaining, and losing, gaining, was not good for the heart? Time to quit rambling.

Monday, October 24, 2005


I was going to wait until much later to comment on how well I was able to control my urges for the day. I need my self-talk of approval to keep me in the right direction. I dumped the bag of candy off with the lady I always give some to, just now. I turned around and someone is handing more candy to me, here lady, here's more! I went into the coffee room to play cards and there is three kinds of breakfast rolls and cakes. I tried to keep focused on the cards only. It was very tempting because I haven't had breakfast and I'm hungry. Next is the lunch meals, I don't like the way baby calves are abused so I don't eat veal. Looks like I may make it through the day by making the right choices necessary to keep off the pounds.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

step back

I sat boldly in front of this computer and ate more than a dozen pieces of candy. This bag is for a lady on the bus that I give candy to everyday. I am so wishy-washy about my temptations and cravings. Tomorrow I will give to her the whole bag and tell her I can't have it in my house any more. I must go back to the no-fail environment. My house is bulging with food, even too much of the right kinds of foods will put on the weight. I like it when I never know where the next meal is coming from. Maybe because that was what my life was like growing up. Sort of a learned condition response. I should plan a strategy to avoid uncontrolled eating and stick to a set menu. Actions speak louder than words. I'll shut up!

Saturday, October 22, 2005


FACT: Exercise is a good way to wake-up a lethargic metabolism and burn extra fat, but also improves general health and wellbeing. Your self-esteem, confidence, and mood will all be enhanced through a sense of control and accomplishment.

JOKE: You know it's time to go on a diet when your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Emotional hunger stems from a lack of validation, joy, empathy, and meaning in human relationships.

Friday, October 21, 2005

small step

I put myself in check yesterday, I gave the angle cake to a woman at the center and the bar cake I gave to a lady in my park to freeze until the next park function. No sense in subjecting myself to constant temptations. I also did a slow easy workout in the weight room for almost an hour. Now don't think I have reformed so soon. I am a work in progress of changing my bad habits that cause me to gain weight. I "did" have two small pieces of cake at seperate times and some candy. At least I've gone, right now, from whole cakes to pieces and from a whole bag of candy to part of the bag. I hope I can top off the weekend with more little changes.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

fat rep

The word is out, everyone knows that I love cakes with lots of icing and plenty of cream fillings. I received today another large three layer bar cake and an angle food cake. On the bus I was given a bar meal. I want to enjoy eating my meals not taking two bites and that equals the alloted calories for one meal replacement. Then a lady found me and handed me some candy' which she always does. I don't want to hurt people's feelings but I wish they would let up on the junk! The more determined I am to change my eating habits, the more the opportunities come my way to stay the same, overweight, and die early. Let's see when I get home with this mess how I manage to overcome. Before the bus picks me up I would like to spin the wheels in the weight room for a little while.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Today I am on a patrol,
nutrition, water, exercise.
My appetite is in control.
Soon I'll be a thinner size!
by magmem

can't sleep

This is the second time I woke up at 3:30 am in the wee hours of the morning. I feel very tired but I can't seem to go back to sleep. I wonder if it is my conscious speaking again? I weighed-in last night and gained seven pounds. That makes a total of 23.25 pounds gain in a three month period of time. I'm at a lull and need to snap myself out of it! You can't change what you tolerate. I don't know why I find it hard to make my needs a priority. I have allowed too much of "yes I will" do this, and give to others my personal time for self-improvement. I also know that getting the proper sleep at night is very important to the healthy balance of the chemicals in my body. When will I utilize all of the information I have compiled together concerning behavior modification, to change my life style of bad eating habits, so that I will be a normal healthy weight? I think today is a good time to get back on track. See you at the races.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

be honest

Yesterday someone was telling it like it is and I still wasn't satisfied. I think it was the delivery and tone that ruffled me. I'm all for honesty! Given in a kind and concerned manner, information can really be supportive. The patronizing from aquaintances can be even worse. "You look like you lost weight," I know I have gained at least ten pounds! I guess we have a tendency to tell people what we think they want to hear. Are we ever satisfied about everything? I even get tired of hearing myself complain. Let's find a silver lining in this entry. YOU WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU IF YOU KNEW HOW OFTEN THEY DIDN'T.

Monday, October 17, 2005


I don't know whether to write a long entry or keep it short. I made a really long one last night and ended with a joke to keep one interested. Oops, I just may be stupid after all, I deleted last nights entry this afternoon by mistake. When it is off the top of my head I find it hard to duplicate. Oh well, maybe I was too upset because at the lunch table, just now, I had to eat fast and run, to get away from an intruder who proceeded to sit across from me and tell me where I should go for my weight problem and what I should eat and not eat. Hello, it's my problem, not yours, please look the other way. Forget the please, stay out of my business. It's bad enough I hear it constantly from my friends and aquaintances which I join in with jokes about myself. I just feel like rebelling sometimes. JOKE: "How did you like your vacation in Las Vegas?"
" Terrible, I left my glasses at home."
" Oh-oh, did you have trouble seeing the show?"
" No, but I spent the first morning playing a stamp machine."

Sunday, October 16, 2005


Now I'm not trying to make myself sound stupid, but I did something funny by mistake yesterday. My daughter gave to me last week this little spritz cologne bottler of Rasberry Bloom. She took me out to eat for lunch and dinner and shopping. I used the cologne she gave to me but I didn't care too much for the smell. She always asks me if I liked it. I wore it when she picked me up. My grandaughters commented on how good I smell. I said thanks to your mom. She asked the name of the fragerance. When I told her, she busted out loud laughing and informed me it was a room deoderizer. We all laughed so hard. Well at least I didn't try to eat it, after all it had a food name to it. Maybe I'm not the food-a-holic I always say I am. I knew of an alcoholic who would go to neighbors to ask for liquid items to borrow and drink them if they had an alcohol base. How sad to be so dependent on outside things to make a person feel good inside or happy and contented. I had my share cravings that I was able to finally control. I have one more thing that has a tendency to call out to me many times and that is unhealthy food.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Don't feel bad for me,
me's very happy, you see.
My face and tresses are fine.
My man thinks I'm divine!
by magmem

why this

I love to write, write, and write!!! I chose this blog to write my desires in rite form. It's time to take inventory. Why am I really doing this now? Yea, yea, I need to lose weight. I've struggled in that area a good part of my life. I'm a people pleaser. Is it for their happiness or is it to feed my need for validation? I want to be loved, accepted, appreciated, and accomplish the feeling of success in my personal life. Who doesn't? I've noticed that when I pour out my heart and it's long and boring, there is hardly any (spam) comments at the end of the day on my site. When I keep it at a level of much fewer words, I do see some (spam) comments. With my obsessive malady, I keep checking the computer for what people say about my site. SNAP OUT OF IT! Do a daily journal on your diet dilemmas for yourself!

Friday, October 14, 2005


FACT: A potato raises your blood sugar very gradually. The complex carbohydrates release serotonin in the brain. It's like a natural Prozac.

JOKE: On a recent Caribbian cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Solitude is the refreshment for the soul.


Now that's what I get for patting myself on the back so hard. After a pat comes the boot. I did so good at the function last night and kept my mouth in control. I thought I was doing a nice thing by taking a bag of candy to give to this nice lady on the bus tomorrow. Count it all good for the night. Then I made a mistake by staying up until the wee hours after 2:30 am and the munchies hit me. I actually stayed up and battled with the thought of just eating one piece of candy. Normally, I run to bed and the bad thoughts for me go off to la-la land. Not, I had to get over confident and do just one, one more time, to finish off the week in great victory. I'm not quite as strong as I need to be to make, constantly, healthful choices that will bring down my weight in a steady manner. No words of wisdom for me today? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Get up, brush yourself off, and start all over again, stay in the race to live longer.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


FACT: Garlic can be a natural antibiotic; antibactrerial and antiviral.

JOKE: Has your neighborhood supermarket ever offered to send for you with a limo?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Self pity is a sense of entitlement.

pat on the back

I have access to a free large three layer bar cake about once every ten days. Being the wimp that I am in giving in to my every craving, I always accomodate myself. I immediately put it in the freezer to keep from eating it up in two days, the norm for me. I did look at it every time I passed the frig. It's been one week and I have a chance to take it with me as a dessert when I go somewhere tonight. I am so jazzed that I made it this long and overcame the temptation! I will have one piece at the function only. I get a pat on the back from me, which can go a long way like a shove in the right direction.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, then accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.

One of the most important factors influencing your weight-loss success is your belief in your ability to follow through and do it this time for sure. Perfection is not as important as perserverance!

The best motivation and discipline for losing weight has to come from within one's self. You can not lose weight for your boyfriend, your family, your parents, your friends, your doctor, your job, your spouse, or for any insurance company.

my wake up call

This works for me to review my journal and see what's going on. 7-11-05 I started my program of change. 8-05-05 I went off of it on a vacation. I have lost 36.50 pounds with just moving more. I am on a gaining streak of 16.25 pounds because of slowing down and being too busy to stop in the weight room for some bike riding. Yes, I am a backslider, the yo-yo game has always been my cup of tea full of excuses. It is now time to ride some more, and focus on additional tools of enhancement like maybe: cutting down on calories, making a colorful graph (I love visual stimulants), try low carbohydrate and low glycemic index foods, and finally for now to practice saying no or looking the other way when temptation comes in view! Ya Ya, I am full of self-pep talks.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

to whom it may concern

Thank you all for the encouragement on my barely visited blog site. I am not buying or selling anything. I am just now learning about computers and I try to visit your listed sites to comment but I don't always succeed. I did find one word that was very offensive but here's to free speech!

can't get enough

I am an obsessive compulsive person. I can easily take any one of my likes and stretch it to the limit without a second thought. I am somewhat immature with seeking instant gratification. When I am hungry I want to eat now, what I want, and as much as I can stuff in my stretched out belly. I even eat in seclusion so no one can judge me. The more somebody tries to help me in my choices of food, the more I feel like rebelling. That all sounds like serious issues to me. I guess you can also call me an emotional eater. What do I call it when I feel the same same way about listening to music loud and long, gushing over living creatures, and renting four to six videos for the night? I know, lack of control in every way! I know I can change, I will change, and I am in a long process of choosing to be more aware and incorporate moderation. You go girl.


You won't sit next to me,
my fat is catchy, so I see.
Someone might think we're together?
My bleeding heart is tight like leather.
by magmem

Monday, October 10, 2005


This is your conscience speaking, are you watching what you're eating? In my brain last night, my conscious and my rational side were at battle. Needless to say my conscious won and dished me out a nightmare with a trailer. It all had nothing to do with food. I had a wake up call. I jumped on the scale and saw a nine pound gain in one week again. I certainly need to review the hints I jotted down to keep me on track a couple of months ago. These were the changes that were working for me, that I should get back into:
1. take vitamins
2. eight glasses of water daily
3. active daily
4. no food after 7:30 pm
5. journal daily
6. cut down on sugars
7. cut down on salts
8. no second helpings
9. salads almost every day
10. read diet info for inspiration
It seems like a lot to change at one time and it is for me. I started with one a week until I was sure I was ready for another modification. I'm such a BIG baby (a pun), I need structure to keep me in line.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

eating out

I've missed two days of exercising and with the long week end coming up it will be another three days. I can't keep missing five days in a row of using the weight room. That always defeats my last couple of weeks efforts in controling my weight problem. Now I have to eat out again and join in on a family birthday but this will be at a home, no choice there. Oh no, I just got a flash future glimpse of the Halloween party, the Thanksgiving Day Dinner, The whole month of December, and then the New Years Eve party!!!! Will the constant temptations ever slow down? All I want is a little more time to strengthen my program and psych up my shield of resolution. I've done it before and I know I will do it again but it's a progressive process for me. Wish me luck.

Friday, October 07, 2005


If you exercise until you are exhausted, you lose your appetite for a while. You should exercise longer, not harder because too hard can cause muscle damage and possible loss of lean tissue.
Exercising and losing weight are the two most important things to do if you are insulin-resistant.
Your body burns calories more efficiently the first twelve hours of the day.
As long as you exercise, being a little bit heavy may not in itself jeopardize your health.
You may burn as many as 80 calories an hour while you sleep, depending on your weight. The heavier a person is, the more calories they burn an hour.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Food is my inclination,
take it away, I die.
Try behavior modification,
to be thin but, why?
by magmem

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Too often I make other people a priority over myself. I signed up for a little volunteering at a center for two days, it has turned into a weeks worth for at least two weeks. It will interfere with my chances of using the weight room for an hour at least three times a week while I'm there at the center. I guess you have me pegged by now. I have always been a drama queen, I seem to pass the buck, I have an excuse for everything, and I'm forever searching for acceptance.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

eating out

Another birthday dinner at a restaurant, this time I didn't choose what I like to eat. I tried a salad with chicken and it wasn't bad at all, I even felt satisfied and full. (No feeling guilty today.) Avoid those people who tempt you to go off of your diet? If not possible, choose the healthier foods to eat. When making that type of decision you'll find it only reinforces a good behavior.

Monday, October 03, 2005

eating out

Why is it everytime I am in my life changing mode I have to eat out with family when I am not hungry? It always seems to precede my weigh-in, not giving me a chance to work it off. I'm not trying to blame anyone else for my overweight. I need a little more time to regain all of the control necessary to just say no when I'm not hungry. I've been there before and will have more strength as I progress in my journey to being a healthy weight. I am trying to devalue food and make it less important in my heart and mind.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


People on standard weight loss diets who do not incorporate behavior modification to change their bad habits will regain all lost weight within one year, and that includes about 95 to 98 percent of dieters.
If your motivation is strong and you've come to the grips with the recognition of your emotional needs, the changing of your food paterns shouldn't be difficilt.

I like the idea of changing my thinking and my bad habits first before I begin the long life time journey of changing what I eat for the sake of good health. I see it as one step at a time. Of course, I always like to do the easiest things first because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I sort of like chalking things up. The more I do the more I want to continue to do. What works for you?

Friday, September 30, 2005


Exercise notions that are commonly incorrect:
1. No pain, no gain
2. Spot reducing is possible.
3. With lifting weights, women will get bulky muscles.
4. If exercising you can eat whatever.
5. A vigorous time commitment is necessary for exercising.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

body type

I thought I read somewhere that I would be considered a "ruler" type of body, an "apple" shape of body, now an "endomorphic" type. Therefore, I easily gain weight be it fat or muscle but I have to work very hard at losing the weight of fat. I feel what it all melts down to is I still have to eat right, eat less, and move more. Is there any other answer?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


I lost nine pounds. I finally am motivated to improve my efforts by exercising more faithfully, to be aware of the types of foods I eat, journalizing to prevent food amnesia, go back to keeping the goodies out of the house, review daily the hints I have around in books that keep me aiming in the right direction, and asking for help through a lot of my associates. I would talk about how I managed to lose so much weight in one week but not now, I don't want to go off in a tangent. This is a positive entry.

Monday, September 26, 2005

sleep it off

The latter I'm up the hungrier I get. I don't know why I don't go to bed and sleep it off. I was being tempted to just take a little bit of something to satisfy my slight hunger urge. I know myself very well. I have better control by passing up the food than by tasting only a bite. Tomorrow is my accountability day with weigh-in. I didn't try to have any control or do my moving around activities to burn off what I ate at all this week. I know that consistency always pays off the weight or pays up the gain. I wish I had another wedding to go to so that I would care about how I looked. That is probably why I hide a lot. I don't have to be presentable in my house by myself. I even avoid my mirrors as much as possible. As soon as I lose a pound my tune will change. Watch and see. CHOW! Oh, that reminds me of food.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


WILL power is a plenty?
I WILL-- clean my plate,
all gone "till empty.
Not WILL, but "no"power, can't relate.
by magmem

Saturday, September 24, 2005


I have got to keep my guard up. That's the way to hold on to my positive attitude. Everyday remember to S. T. A. R. T. the day my own way. It takes a long time to lose but a short time to gain. A moment in my mouth is a lifetime on my hips. The labor of my desire will encompass much time, participation, dedication, and the giving up of instant gratification with food. The whole program may cause me some minute pain physically (exercise) and mentally when I hear my stomach growl late at night.
S.- seize the moment the thought hits you when looking into the mirror.
T.- tame your doubts about defeat.
A.- announce your plan, write it down, journalize, encourage support.
R.- receive it by faith with consistancy.
T.- take the next step and follow through. (you can do it)

Friday, September 23, 2005

who to blame

It's not the tv, it's not the sitting and reading books, it's not the fast food places; the buck, stops here. It's all about me! It's my lack of an active life style, my not being informed sufficiently in
nutrition, my hidden dislike of myself, and my inappropiate choices of eating the empty calorie foods. It's really all about what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat, why I eat, where I eat, and the way I eat. I struggle with myself all of the time. This is what I call accountability. I may as well say it out loud before anybody even looks at me and thinks it. Tomorrow is a new day and I plan to start patting myself on the back instead of kicking my own behind.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

back to exercising

It's been six weeks since my vacation was over and in the delay of going back to my new program of changing my life style, I have gained over fourteen pounds. This past week was sprinkled with some exercise and I believe I'm back on track again. We'll see what next Tuesday's weigh-in will reveal.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


I want to help you.
It will never work or do,
Unless, I try to lose weight too.
You'll laugh and say phoo-phoo!
by magmem

Monday, September 19, 2005


I myself like to refer retro to my successes and my set backs so that I can reinforce what worked for me in losing weight and try to eliminate, once again, my bad habits that interfer with my goal of living a healthy life style. The draw back for me is always having to search through the archives. I feel some of the important postings of my choice (or your choice to read again) should be easily accessable and kept together outside of the archives. I think it's odd that "freedom" of speech fits in a template.

Thursday, September 15, 2005


The habit of impulse eating involves eating in a quick manner, with little chewing, and feeling the sensation of not being able to stop until it is all gone.

Good habits are what keeps you going on a diet, but motivation is what gets you started.

A two to three pound weight gain can be blamed on water retention. Gaining five pounds or more weight needs attention.

Shame and scare tactics will not motivate anyone to change their eating habits.


Being fat, I have to go the extra mile,
to be accepted and earn a smile.
Love me or hate me, for what I do,
not for the way I look to you!
Do I like my tortoise shell? Not,
but it's the only one I got!
by magmem

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

my first comment received

I opened my first comment after whining about no responses to my journals. It was like a slap in the face! I don't understand why I am being accused of advertising or excessive self-promotion. See misc. posting on 7-18-05, if that is more presentable I can do that more often and drop the I's. I thought blogging was a form of communication in diary style. I assumed people with the same type of ideas would like to hear they are not alone in their struggles. Moral support can jump start motivation!

diet dilemma/fat battles

My mental and physical struggle with small weight gains that have mounted up to morbid obesity. This is my journal of talking to myself and looking for small successes in attempting to change my life style of living to eat. The quest here is to change my inside before I attempt to do the body work. You will see how I discover what I'm doing wrong in my hand to mouth automation. (I was also pleasured with cigarettes. I am thankful that addiction is in check now.)

Monday, September 05, 2005


It has been exactly one month since I strayed from my new life time goal of getting healthier. Somebody tell me what is wrong with me? I can't seem to get back into the swing of things. Why don't I care about myself again? Needless to say I am g-a-i-n-i-n-g! Boo.... throw the bum out.

Friday, August 26, 2005


It's been three weeks since I've lost my momentum. I just can't get motivated again to change my bad eating habits, increase my activity, journal, and return to my supportive group. It's the disappointment in myself that is holding me back. I can forgive anyone in the blink of an eye, but I never do the same for myself. Now is a good time to start. sis-boom-bah rah-rah

Friday, August 19, 2005

good girl

Today I chased the bread cart looking for sweets to take home for the weekend. Only one coffee cake was there and I grabbed it up quickly. I saw an old lady, like me, and offered it to her instead. I prevented a lot extra calories from clinging to my already obese stature. I am having my usual sweet cravings and I feel like I need a fix. I hope I don't have another opportunity to indulge my whims the rest of this week. We'll see how it goes by Monday.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


This food-a-holic here, fell off of the wagon after three months of daily increased activity and three days a week in the Wellness Weight Room at the Senior Citizen Center. I modified my eating habits a little bit. I lost 42 pounds, my all over pain had decreased, and I only had to use my walker for long distances.
I reluctantly went on vacation with my family for five days and eventually I lost the ground I had gained in that three month period. I lost control of my program and my desire to keep motivated. I don't feel like climbing back up on the wagon. It's been six additional days so far of sedentary living, being disappointed in myself, overeating, and hiding from the scale. I have become tolerant of my lax attitude. The fat is here to stay. What I miss most of all is the energy I had then and my zest for life. Alas, woe is me. Somebody, kick my butt, I need a jump start!

Friday, August 05, 2005


I haven't told you yet about my good efforts. I go to the Wellness Room at the Senior Citizen Center in Rancho Cucamonga. It is new and very busy with more than 1,ooo people registered to use the room. I started there, with my walker, three months ago. I go three times a week for about 30 to 45 minutes. It's working. The days I don't go there, I find myself sedentary, weak, in pain, and sleepy. It's as if I need that jump start to complete a normal day. I have been going there for three months now. I push myself many times to do my routine but I am never sorry once I get started. I have lived a sedentary life style for over ten years, things are turning around for me!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


I've lost 3 1/2 pounds yesterday at my weigh-in. I put it as a figure instead of a written number, it looks like more to me. Who am I kidding? It still wasn't an honest loss. I used all of the tricks up my sleeves. I fasted again for seventy-two hours, I wore slippers, etc.,etc.etc.. I was thinking about trying to do a week of low carbohydrates. I heard that the Atkins Diet Company is filing for bankruptcy. Since Dr. Atkins had died people are focused on the fat in that sort of restricted diet, and have all agreed that it is too much high cholesterol. Along with the fact that vegetables and fruits are very limited, anyone knows they have a high vitamin content and also they have a good source of fiber. Well, what's a week of experimenting going to cost me anyway? I really haven't been doing things as you should in a proper kind of life style change, yet. I only incorporated two months ago into my program an active life stlye in moderation. It is working pretty good for me at this time. I started at 293 pounds and I am presently at 256 pounds, hooray!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005


I wonder why I never have any comments at the end of any of my postings? Is it because there is not one person out there who is dissatisfied with the shape of their body? Is it because I haven't developed this site in color or elaboration. Maybe I have too many grammical errors. Is it possible I really belong in a chat room instead? I wanted a Web Site to start off with but It was too complicated at that time. Where are all the people? Do I need to ask a question that requires a response? Do you have any suggestion to lead me in the right direction? Alright heres my question: How boring is this think off the fat mentality?