Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Do you have any compelling cravings that you always give in to? I do with food, caffeine, sugars, spending, and gambling, when I have the chance, they all are too hard to give up. The Department of Health, Education and Welfare lists calleine as addictive, along with nicotine and heroin, and admits that if caffeine were a new drug, the manufacturer would have great difficulty in getting a licnse to sell it, and it would no doubt be available only by prescription. Three distinct signs of addiction are: tolerance for the so called drug, withdrawal symptoms when it is removed, and a craving after being deprived. Data increasingly shows that caffeine is implicated in several types of cancer, including leukemia and pancreatic cancer,etc. That's what I read a very long time ago. If food is an ever-present temptation to which we constantly yield----then it is clear we are in bondage. The addiction of compulsive eating tends to be chronic and progressive. Food cravings are often triggered by sharp swings in blood sugar. Poor frustration and anxiety tolerance is usually associated with food addicits. Shame and scare tatics will not motivate anyone to change their eating habits.

I certainly am changing mine a little at a time, and one day at a time. Yesterday I was given a carmel apple pie the size of a very very large pizza. I took it home had one piece it was so good I knew I would eat the whole thing. When I got up in the morning, the very first thing I did was get out enough of containers to hold the rest of the temptating pie. I gave away about twelve servings to the people I spend time with during the day. It made me feel good, it made my friends happy, and it gave me a sense of freedom from the overeating goblin. Today at the lunch room there was a birthday party I ate nothing there, but I did sing happy birthday. I gave myself a tally mark for each control I had. There I go again making this a long page!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I lost three more pounds, every little bit counts. If it works for you keep with the program until there is no more success. From there you try other variables that jerk your body out of the doldrums. Don't be complacent anymore about an unhealthy body, mind, or soul. What good is a ship without a destination? I set my goal for now, to count any positive action in the direction of adding new good habits and dropping old bad habits. I mark down a tally slash each time and try to increase a little daily. So far in eight days I have earned 52 marks. One pound here and there is good for me, 45# this year. Most important is to relieve the stress in your life. Chill out, remember no matter what, this too shall pass. In stress, the body releases a hormone called cortisol. Cortisol increases insulin resistance, in which cells don't use insulin efficiently. Yada yada I find it hard to even control my words. On a lighter note: why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.......

Monday, November 28, 2005


If you let your emotions run your life you're in deep trouble. I blame my weight on all of my maladies instead of my eating habits. I have been sick for over a week now and I heard that when you are sick you don't feel like eating. Not! I do agree you don't feel like moving around as much, rest can be very important, but there goes the moving theory to burn off calories. Hardly any visitors here have a weight problem or concern. Although, no one person ever is completely in control of their emotions. I keep a reminder handy on how to walk through any issue that can control my mind or body (weight) without my full consent. I just need to review it more often. Mental anguish over situations? I try to walk through the pain and peal back the layers of emotions until I find the layer of self love. I Begin to think about how to deal with the issues, one at a time, for me right now it is weight. What makes me (you) happy? Use that happy thing as a catalyst to help jump start you to a better place. For me it should be listen to loud music when I feel like overeating, that will help me reduce my calorie intake. For everyone else and me at times it is best to increase the energy output by moving around or exercising because it increases the chemical in your brain that is called beta-endorphins that makes for a natural high in the body, a feel good emotion. Confession is good for the soul admit to yourself the problem. Surrender your nemesis, obsession, addiction, whatever it is that holds you back from improving, to a Higher Power (for me that's God). We all need help in life. Treat the bad stuff as if it were a desease that will cost you your life. Keep in mind there is always hope!!! I express a disclaimer that I am not telling anyone how to live through any problems in life per say I am only sharing what works for me at difficult times. Anyway I thought I would change my whining tune about being fat which no one wants to hear about and get really heavy in discussion. I promise no more. Thanks, that felt good to plow off some steam.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


FACT: (GI) Glycemic Index indicates how fast a carbohydrate containing food is digested and how much it causes blood glucose to rise, this is called the glycemic response.

JOKE: "Why is your cousin trying to lose weight again? She's already the skinniest girl in town." "Some people are afraid of heights. She's afraid of widths."

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: The pase is history, the future is a mystery, and all we have is the present and that is a gift.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


Why remember only the fat years?
Look to the future thin ones,
so exercise those buns!
No more hidden tears.
by magmem

Friday, November 25, 2005

scale tale

I've had 31/2 hours of sleep so far and couldn't wait to jump on the scale to see how good I am doing. I'm disappointed and should go back to bed and and sleep off the debilitating motivational block. I have this fixation for the scale to validate me. My oc has me sharing time with the scale about six times a day. One time I decided to put the scale in the trunk of the car for awhile to wean myself off. It was like the "Whit Elephant Thought" in psychology. I made it through that day but just couldn't sleep until I went outside in my bed clothes to the car and brought in my pet. I know I said to give myself one week of good health tally marks before the results will show up in some manner. I have noticed about myself when I weigh-lite I allow myself a little cheating. When I weigh-more I cut back a bit. When I weigh the same I feel secure. I never claimed to be totally sensible. This does make sense though, the scale is no indication of your true success. It's not only how you look but how you feel and what's your body composition. Besides it's the clothes that tell the tale. I am thankful I don't have all of those good left overs to tempt me the rest of the week. Come to think of it I did not eat one piece of chocolate candy yesterday at my daughters house that's another first!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

tally count

Three cheers for "football"!!! Counting today it has been three days and 24 tally marks. Just thinking about those steps forward makes me even, feel lighter. I knew I should, I thought I could, I said I would, and I am keeping track. I took some of everything but didn't stack my plate as usual. For the first time in my life, I did not go back for seconds. I ate the dessert and walked slowly up and down the stairway a couple of times. I decided to go home early so as not to be tempted to overeat for the next coming meal that evening. Or the usual, all day long grazing that follows this particular holiday meal. I even said no emphatically to taking home any food or leftovers. I've always been known as the human garabage disposal. I'm no angel though. I always cover my bottom. Instead of kicking myself later because I said no again and again. I did bring home a piece of pie. After I consumed it, I felt like I didn't really enjoy it. That was my only mistake for today. I mean I straight-up turned down soda pop too. Whoo-Yah!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Gosh I haven't had a hooray for myself in a while. I had a 4 pound loss at my weigh-in last night. I guess it's about time I take my own advise and continue for a week doing my tally marks for any good action I take toward a healthier life style. Beware mr gobble gobble you're not going to mesmerize me at the table this time and make me stay until all the available food disappears. I may even walk up and down my daughter's stairway a couple of times after dessert. See you lighter when? Happy Thanksgiving! I know I have plenty in my life to be thankful for!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


After making a mistake, create a new plan and stay on your program faithfully and in one week you will begin to see a difference. Simple carbohydrates only provide calories! I like to give myself points for doing something constructive towards any goal I set. For instance if I take my vitamins and minerals for that day I tally one mark on paper. If I do some type of exercise, eat a salad, drink 8 glasses of water, eat nothing after 7:30 pm, deny myself a sweet, review anything on nutrition or diets or motivation, seek out support in a weak moment, eat my three meals for that day, or do whatever helps me toward my health improvement each day gets a tally mark. I try to increase my total of tallies everyday. Adding new and different tasks keeps things from being monotonous and boring. I don't feel too bad when I see only one or two tally marks because that represents I have not given up I still have a chance. It's been a while, and the bottom of this page says only 35# loss but it's still a sweet victory. Chow.

Monday, November 21, 2005


My dumb scale just doesn't want to cooperate with me! I think all of those salty pickles I ate last week have made my feet, ankles, and calves swell up with excess water again. I only had two meals yesterday, they both had pasta in it. I wonder if my insulin resistant metabolism refused to burn any calories. Maybe that all slowed me down and made me feel those sugar lows that contributed to my sedentary day. I know I worked on the computer about six hours combined. I ended up frustrated because I wasn't getting any results or cooperation from the dumb computer either. I poured too much sea salt in the spaghetti sauce I made yesterday but didn't want to waste it and throw it out so I ate it and still have enough for the rest of the week. It made me so thirsty that the middle of my tongue was dry all day and night no matter how much water I drank to hydrate it. My o/c twisted my arm this past weekend to attend the club buffet for the Thanksgiving feast. I'm not myself this past month, I don't know what's wrong with me!!! Oh yes, I am full of excuses. Someone slap my face I'm in a stupor. {(I>:)~

Sunday, November 20, 2005


Calcium diminishes the effectiveness of iron. It's better to take iron supplements with a glass of juice rather than with a glass of milk.

Mega doses of vitamins and minerals can suppress normal immune functioning.

Anabolic steroids does promote muscle growth but in large doses can; produce acne, thinning of hair, liver damage, menstrual irregularity, heart problems, smaller testicles, low-sperm count, and diminished libido.

The common sit-up is not a good exercise because it can strain the back. It is best to isolate specific muscle groups; the upper abdominal, the external oblique, and the middle abdominal region.

Most husbands agree that having a wife with a perfect body is not that important, it's how self-accepting she is of herself and how enthusiastically she responds to their togetherness that really counts.

If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, than accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die full and happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Take it when the spurt of motivation hits you don't put it off for one second! Start your new plan and realize you will never succeed in anything without experiencing some failures. I am going to the club buffet tonight, etc, etc. I dissent my declaration yesterday of taking a hiatus for the holidays. You can't reach a goal by standing still and doing nothing or putting it off till another time because something always comes up (S... happens.) I just wanted to thank She put on some graphic of fat representation in my blog for me and I'm lovin' it. Now if I can't feel it and others can't see it, I will still know the statistics don't lie. I'm all into visual stimulation to where I am at a given moment, or should I say in the last four years? Here's to not giving up.

Friday, November 18, 2005


I read in "Good Health" magazine; Herb Alert, 5 to avoid. The products listed below, which are usually sold in tea, tablet, capsul or extract form, are considered potentially dangerous by the Food and Drug Administration because they have been linked to serious health consesquences including liver failure, respiratory problems and , in some cases, death. The health claims are unproven.
CHAPARRAL is touted as an antioxidant, cancer cure and acne treatment.
JIN BU HUAN is touted as a sleep aid and pain reliever.
COMFREY is touted as an arthritis cure, healing agent and mood enhancer.
LOBELIA is touted as a sedative and nicotine replacement.
MA HUANG (ephedra) is touted as a weight-loss aid and energy booster.

Very interesting, now to find someting (pros and cons) good to say about herbs. Anything, just to avoid talking over and over again about eating and gaining as usual. I'm in a rut, time to step away and get a new perspective. I'm not going to fight all of the up coming holidays. I'm not bailing-out, I'm on hiatus. I will continue with nutritional statements that are beneficial for all to hear.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

stay in check

I always greet my club members on the phone with "this is you're conscience speaking are you watching what you're eat?" Well at the weigh-in, which I don't want to talk about, someone woke me up with a question also. Why do you call me and ask such, when you aren't asking yourself the same thing, therefore the gain? Funny how the truth hurts. I became vigil again for a couple of days. Then last night I knew I was hungry but I continued to stay up way past my bedtime. Actually it was four and a half hours longer than usual. At 2:30 am I lost control and ate a plate full of lunch meat, cream cheese, and pickles. As usual I didn't stop there. Then came the dessert, a bowl full of apple sauce with 3/4 cup of whipped cream and lots of cherries. I was in a feeding frenzy. Why did I waste my two day vigil and stay up past another (every four hours) feeding time? Stay in check girl!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


In dealing with addictions, partial withdrawals are a lot harder than complete abstinence. They are as such: tabacco, alcoholl, drugs, caffeine, sex, gambling, sugar, and food to name a few. We may feel as if we can't live without our addictions, but in essence food is he only substance we will die without! All of our maladies are more of a psychological need with uncomfortable symptomatic withdrawals.

Cigarettes are addicting in the same sense as heroin.

Alcoholism is frequently asociated with poor nutrition.

Women who are trying to conceive would be wise to forgo caffeine. One cup of coffee daily can lower fertility.

Appetite depressant medications can become addictive especially if misused, they're only a crutch not a solution.

As with other addictions, eating disorders takes a person's emotional health and twists them into a knot. The spirit may be willing but the flesh is weak.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I don't feel like talking today I am so up set with myself. In the past week I have split open and torn three pairs of slacks that cannot be repaired. Don't tell me I now have to go completely into all stretch or polyester materials. The scale must be hiding something from me. I only see a few pounds gain which goes up and down all of the time. That's nothing new? Plus tonight is weigh-in and I didn't take my water pills. I'm also tired of taking water pills just to get a loss that really is not a loss when I go back to drinking the water. Maybe I should cut down or out the added salt in my foods. Yes, I know what to do, but when am I going to utilize all that I know, about how to lose weight? Did I say I don't feel like talking? Hello obsessive compulsion. I always have a hard time stopping..........

Monday, November 14, 2005


I have my game on but I'm not making the right moves. I went from being sedentary to busy per say. I introduced some exercise into my life stlye. I started to journal to see how I eat and the worst habits I have that make me over weight. I incorporated support from a weight control group of people. I hitched a ride on the diet wave on the computer. I shop for food so that my house is not lacking. I read all of the diet materials that ever come my way and review all of my old books that have been accumulating. I've passed up many opportunities to eat the wrong kinds of foods. I have even fasted a few times. I had a policy of no-fail foods in my house. It all added up to me losing some weight. I became a little over-confident. I let my guard down a few times. Each time I did that, it got easier to do it more often. Now my motivation is waning. The gaining, yo-yo style, is back. I thought since I hooray, boot, pat on the back, brag, complain, and wonder, it's time I cheer myself on again and introduce a new approach. It's never too too late unless you're already dead from obese complications. I know this was boring to read if you can't relate. So maybe I should leave with a tid bit of information that can benefit anyone.

The hypothalamus section in the brain balances the appetite-control mechanism. One portion tells the body when to eat. Another portion tells it when to stop. It takes only an infinitesimal imbalance to cause a slight malfunction. The healthier the hypothalamus, the greater its accuracy. It is kept healthy through the nutrients it receives. Proper nutrition at least can make it work at its optimum efficiency. (Now that's what I'm talking about. DO IT RIGHT.)

Sunday, November 13, 2005


FACT: Just as the temperature in a room is controlled by a thermostat, so is a person's weight controlled by his appestat.

JOKE: Is there a restraining order against you from the Association Of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Hot heads and cold hearts never solve anything.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

fooling myself

Yesterday a group of us went to a buffet. That's not a good place for me to be. I thought I had things under control by bring one plate at a time back to the table. I skipped the salad bar. My meat plate was full in layers. I could have eaten another plate. Have your dessert and quit I said to myself. Yes that was full also. On my way back to my seat I saw tables of people turn their heads and stare at what was on my plate. I did not get that reaction with the hot food. Let's see now does that mean fat people are not allowed desserts? Or is it a response to someone saying look at that, no wonder she's so fat! All of the sweets were not enjoyable. I do have a bad habit of not wanting to waste food so I ate that also. I didn't like the sweet taste left on my tongue so I went back for a couple of potatoes and some mushrooms. Yes I was totally full but not stuffed to the gills. I thought I did, not too bad, and at the end of the night I found out how wrong I was. I had on a new pair of slacks that ripped open in the back from my torso down through my pant leg. It was thirteen inches long. I usually try to always make myself look good (not physically) by trying to save face. I pat myself on the back and say that's a step in the right direction for today. I never make another posting that same day telling how I mess up. My excess weight is there for all the world to see what a fool I am.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Life has its ups and downs. Inside of us all is a light of hope. Being "Veteran's Day," I salute all and give my thanks!!! It's not about me it's about life lived. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.* Here are some pondering revelations:

Walk in someone else's shoes and yours will seem more comfortable.

Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half-sorrow.

Sometimes it is not good enough to do your best; you have to do what's required.

Change can come in either of two important ways: start behaving positively or stop behaving negatively.

Great goals are never reached by following the line of least PERSISTENCE!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

besides the weight

More than losing weight, I desire to have other means restored in my life. That would include the end of submerged embarrasment, enjoying park rides, back to dancing for hours at a time, being able to see my feet when I look down, to breathe with ease, to reach to scratch my own back, and once again trust myself to be in control when surrounded by food. I really enjoyed aerobics with the loud music. It would be hot if I thought about other things in life besides food. Food does occupy a lot of my thinking time. Here's a light bulb; the thought comes before the action. It takes work to change habits!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


This is your conscience speaking, are you watching what you're eating? I always throw that initial greeting out there to my diet club members. When am I going to face the mirror and tell myself the same hidden tutelage for taking off pounds? I haven't bragged lately about any numbers that prove I am being diligent. It's up It's down and who cares anyway? I know I have to learn to care a little bit more to be consistant. I am still doing little improvements one day at a time. Yesterday I passed up small pecan pie tarts in the coffee room. I did my whole hour (in slow motion) in the weight room. I ate salad for dinner the night before last. Now I have a confession, yesterday I had a one pound gain! I'm not giving up yet. Good luck with your intentions. I think tomorrow I will review with myself some of the reasons I really want to lose weight.

Monday, November 07, 2005

taste buds

By sheer discovery, I have begun to recognize the fact that you can train your taste buds to like and crave healthy foods. I ate Halloween candy given to me by my daughter to cut down on the candy available in her house. It was an awful lot of chocolate one of my trigger, foods, per say. The first one was good tasting but didn't make my mouth water as usual. Of course I continued until the whole grocery bag was empty, that's part of my compulsion! The more I ate, the more I didn't care that much for the tastes. I had to get the temptation out of my sight by eliminating it into my stomach. Then there was the lunch I had put in front of me at the center. I froze, staring at this baked potato that had no pazazz. (Globs of butter, grains of salt, chunks of cheese, mounds of sour cream, and chives for added color.) It was unclad but had this teeny weeny yellow spot on it I think it was called a pat. One smash and it disappeared. By golly I ate the whole thing in good taste, so that's what butter with a whole lot of white stuff tastes like? Not bad at all. If I could do it everytime, I would count it all good habits to live longer by.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Identify your food triggers and look for patterns, that is the key to being in control and using behavior modification.

It is important that you don't feel deprived when trying to follow any type of fitness program. You can eat just about anything you want, what's most imporant is portion control and moderation.

A thin-overweight person can regain all, plus some more, of the lost pounds they struggled to shed if they ever let down their guard.

Certain habits that are learned, are habits only as long as one continues them.

Potassium is important for muscular activity, but is lost through perspiration.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Open my mouth, food jumps in.
Diet again, I never win,
why even try to be thin?
Because, gluttony is a sin!
by magmem

Thursday, November 03, 2005

gloom doom

I feel as if I'm in a war zone inside my body. I always have the little good pixie on my right shoulder. It knows what is best for my welfare. Then there is the counter part pixie on my left shoulder. It is getting fatter and weighing heavier for my attention. I felt this week was a success because I made it over the hump of the week in the right direction. Here it is Thursday and I find myself at home with a large double layer cake, two take-out meals (I've already eaten two so far today), and about four pounds of chocolate Halloween candy! IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW IT GOT HERE. Have you ever set yourself up for failure? Here's the kicker. I have three pressing family matters to deal with tonight. AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY?????

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


My spuddy buddy tator is a good or bad food for me. It all depends on how I choose the way it is cooked. The higher the fat content relates to how much the potato is exposed on the surface to fat or oil. (Sour cream and cheese adds insult to injury.) I'm lovin' it but it's killing me. Usually my fat potato chip is scooping up more fats with every dip it can jump into. Of course, that's on a bad day. I have good days also. Oh my, here comes the three eating holidays one right after the other! I should stay focused and be informed every day for progressive strengh. I'm going to need it. Here are some eye opening figures:
30 gr. 450 3 oz. potato chips
15 gr. 265 3 oz. small cut fries
12 gr. 220 3 oz. large cut fries
5 gr. 155 3 oz. roast potatoes
0 gr. 65 3 oz. baked potato

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Okay I lost seven pounds at weigh-in tonight. I said I was going to lose weight by hook or by crook. I had to take one water pill last week and one water pill this week and my two week ago seven pound gain is gone. Now if I would have done things right, I would have cut down on my salty foods and lost the water gain without using a crutch. I always look for short cuts and extreme measures like wearing light-weight clothing. Or I try skipping eating all day until I get home that night after weigh ins. I'm confessing to doing it the wrong way once in a while. I am only hurting myself because I am reinforcing more bad habits. I have though, since I started five months ago, incorporated more good habits to replace some of the bad habits so far. Some day I will have all good habits and be a healthy weight for my statue etc. It is getting easier as I go along at a much slower pace than most would be dieters. I started out complaining about how obese people are treated and their needs are over looked. But only I can make the change for myself!!