Monday, October 31, 2005


FACT : Motivation and perception are two factors that are particularly pertinent to the shaping of food habits. Motivation stems from a primary biological drive, your needs, and your goals. Perception is the process of adding meaning to what is taken in through the senses.

JOKE : After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, but more so by the obstacles which one has over come while trying to succeed.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

jot down

Keep yourself honest. Refer to what you jot down about your journey of change. Keep it simple with a word or two to start off with. It will become an excellent motivator. You will beging to see; where you are, where you're going, what you want, what your obstacles are, and how faithful you are in your efforts either way(to lose or gain). See what you taste, eat, and how often you move or don't move around. No more calorie amnesia, identify trigger foods, recognize the emotional hunger times, and with all of this revelation you will build motivation for self-improvement and gain self-discipline. The most powerful proven aid for dieters is the food journal/diary. Sometimes I carry a little piece of paper with me just incase there is someting that happens during the day that I just may forget to put in my daily journal. Shorter is better, right? I like to keep your attention. Thanks for listening. Sometimes all we really need is a listening ear to bend.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

journalize it

Hello friend. You know how you look into the mirror to see if you look just-right or if you approve of what you see? When there is something even minute, you're apt to make an immediately change, correction, or resolution. How many times do we avoid the mirror because we know the scene, but don't want to be reminded of what is there to see. How about the mirrors in the stores that show the sides and back view? A problem there? Well, guess what? If you journalize your life, period, it is like facing up to things. Things look so much clearer, nothing gets left out, nothing gets forgotten, and it's so much easier to remember or review. Now comes the best part of all, it is like looking through yourself with an x-ray and seeing the inside of your brainy thoughts! Do I like my insides as much as my outside views? Would I want others to know who I really am or how I really live? Now is the time to get to know yourself better and start to make some changes one at a time, if needed. Check in on the post for tomorrow and I'll talk about a diet journal. Thanks for stopping by. (< :)~

Friday, October 28, 2005


I'm tired of feeling guilty about items and things that break or collapse under my pressure. I have seen a lot of other people who also carry around extra extra weight. I wonder if they ever have this kind of predicament? Here are a few of my broken experiences. I have caved-in and broked two toilet seats at other people's homes including my own. I was sitting at a kitchen table at a neighbor's house and the stupid chair smashed to the floor and broke, yes I was embarrassed. I stepped up on a bunkbed ladder for a minute and it broke down. I put my one knee on a living room ottoman chair to reach for something and the middle support-board under the chair broke and I sunk in. Using a desk chair at the computer has been a costly item to repalce, each time I have to go to a more expensive style for better support. I broke twice, the driver's seat floor-runner for moving forward or backwards. The brackets came up off of the floor. I broke the chain links and the wooden swing on a family member's front patio. I had a friend one time who had a car which always made noises when I rode in it, only. It lost it's shock absorbency on the passenger front side. There was this big thick wooden rocking chair, actually it was two and you get the picture. I had this room divider-seperation between the hallway and a back bedroom under the mobile home. It was a weak spot so I stepped over it everytime. It was about five inches wide. After two years the gap was probably about two feet wide. Way to wide for me to step over it any longer, I did miss the mark and heard and felt the sinking. One more story, this is becoming monotonous. I have been using the weight room for four months now and I have a favorite machine I always use. Yes I am the biggest person that uses it. I pretty much keep it at a low level so I can stay on it a little longer. It's a stair climber but it is one that you can sit on and use along with your arms. One Friday I tried to push myself to the limits and raised it to the fifth level and went for 20 minutes sprinting on and off. It made squeaking noises and some other sounds mildly. When I returned after the weekend I saw an out of order sign on it. It has been three weeks now, still waiting for it to be fixed. Sorry for the sound-off. Sometimes it just is a theraputic release.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


I will get back to posting later after I see if I was able to overcome all of todays temptations. I went for coffee and there were cakes to go with it, I arrived for a meeting and it was full of candy and all kinds of goodies for a party, later lunch will be free, in the later part of the day there will be a table at the hall full of about fifteen choices of goodies again, and then I arrive home about 8:45 pm starved because I had no time for any of my three meals. I will definitely eat then but, if only I can stay strong and not be tempted by all of the dumb stuff always thrown in my face. Yesterday I ate two large salads only but had a two pound gain. Alas.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005


I couldn't weigh-in yesterday, the meeting was canceled. I know I had a small loss and wanted it to get recorded. I hope I can hold on to the loss for next week. I was at the eye doctor's office today, I haven't been there in six months. The doctor looked at me and said, "have you lost weight?" I said no! When I got home I had to look up my last visit date. I weighed 290 pounds then and now I weigh about 268. That little reflection back gave a jolt of motivation. It's not the daily ups and downs on the scale that I should be checking on. I would say it's the big (pun) picture that counts. I didn't get like this overnight so I should allow myself some slack and continue to try to change all of my bad eating habits one at a time.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


If your motivation is strong and you've come to grips with the recognition of your emotional needs, the changing of your food patterns shouldn't be difficult.

The more nutritious things you eat, the less room there'll be for those impulse items.

Being that soup is psychologically gratifying, a bowl before a meal has an unusual capacity to suppress hunger.

A corollary to the habit of eating less is the habit of eating slowly.

I know all of that, physician heal thyself! Well, I'm working on it, even if it is an on and off again attempt. At least I'm not giving up. I also know that consistency brings about faster results. I think I read somewere that losing, gaining, and losing, gaining, was not good for the heart? Time to quit rambling.

Monday, October 24, 2005


I was going to wait until much later to comment on how well I was able to control my urges for the day. I need my self-talk of approval to keep me in the right direction. I dumped the bag of candy off with the lady I always give some to, just now. I turned around and someone is handing more candy to me, here lady, here's more! I went into the coffee room to play cards and there is three kinds of breakfast rolls and cakes. I tried to keep focused on the cards only. It was very tempting because I haven't had breakfast and I'm hungry. Next is the lunch meals, I don't like the way baby calves are abused so I don't eat veal. Looks like I may make it through the day by making the right choices necessary to keep off the pounds.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

step back

I sat boldly in front of this computer and ate more than a dozen pieces of candy. This bag is for a lady on the bus that I give candy to everyday. I am so wishy-washy about my temptations and cravings. Tomorrow I will give to her the whole bag and tell her I can't have it in my house any more. I must go back to the no-fail environment. My house is bulging with food, even too much of the right kinds of foods will put on the weight. I like it when I never know where the next meal is coming from. Maybe because that was what my life was like growing up. Sort of a learned condition response. I should plan a strategy to avoid uncontrolled eating and stick to a set menu. Actions speak louder than words. I'll shut up!

Saturday, October 22, 2005


FACT: Exercise is a good way to wake-up a lethargic metabolism and burn extra fat, but also improves general health and wellbeing. Your self-esteem, confidence, and mood will all be enhanced through a sense of control and accomplishment.

JOKE: You know it's time to go on a diet when your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Emotional hunger stems from a lack of validation, joy, empathy, and meaning in human relationships.

Friday, October 21, 2005

small step

I put myself in check yesterday, I gave the angle cake to a woman at the center and the bar cake I gave to a lady in my park to freeze until the next park function. No sense in subjecting myself to constant temptations. I also did a slow easy workout in the weight room for almost an hour. Now don't think I have reformed so soon. I am a work in progress of changing my bad habits that cause me to gain weight. I "did" have two small pieces of cake at seperate times and some candy. At least I've gone, right now, from whole cakes to pieces and from a whole bag of candy to part of the bag. I hope I can top off the weekend with more little changes.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

fat rep

The word is out, everyone knows that I love cakes with lots of icing and plenty of cream fillings. I received today another large three layer bar cake and an angle food cake. On the bus I was given a bar meal. I want to enjoy eating my meals not taking two bites and that equals the alloted calories for one meal replacement. Then a lady found me and handed me some candy' which she always does. I don't want to hurt people's feelings but I wish they would let up on the junk! The more determined I am to change my eating habits, the more the opportunities come my way to stay the same, overweight, and die early. Let's see when I get home with this mess how I manage to overcome. Before the bus picks me up I would like to spin the wheels in the weight room for a little while.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


Today I am on a patrol,
nutrition, water, exercise.
My appetite is in control.
Soon I'll be a thinner size!
by magmem

can't sleep

This is the second time I woke up at 3:30 am in the wee hours of the morning. I feel very tired but I can't seem to go back to sleep. I wonder if it is my conscious speaking again? I weighed-in last night and gained seven pounds. That makes a total of 23.25 pounds gain in a three month period of time. I'm at a lull and need to snap myself out of it! You can't change what you tolerate. I don't know why I find it hard to make my needs a priority. I have allowed too much of "yes I will" do this, and give to others my personal time for self-improvement. I also know that getting the proper sleep at night is very important to the healthy balance of the chemicals in my body. When will I utilize all of the information I have compiled together concerning behavior modification, to change my life style of bad eating habits, so that I will be a normal healthy weight? I think today is a good time to get back on track. See you at the races.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

be honest

Yesterday someone was telling it like it is and I still wasn't satisfied. I think it was the delivery and tone that ruffled me. I'm all for honesty! Given in a kind and concerned manner, information can really be supportive. The patronizing from aquaintances can be even worse. "You look like you lost weight," I know I have gained at least ten pounds! I guess we have a tendency to tell people what we think they want to hear. Are we ever satisfied about everything? I even get tired of hearing myself complain. Let's find a silver lining in this entry. YOU WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU IF YOU KNEW HOW OFTEN THEY DIDN'T.

Monday, October 17, 2005


I don't know whether to write a long entry or keep it short. I made a really long one last night and ended with a joke to keep one interested. Oops, I just may be stupid after all, I deleted last nights entry this afternoon by mistake. When it is off the top of my head I find it hard to duplicate. Oh well, maybe I was too upset because at the lunch table, just now, I had to eat fast and run, to get away from an intruder who proceeded to sit across from me and tell me where I should go for my weight problem and what I should eat and not eat. Hello, it's my problem, not yours, please look the other way. Forget the please, stay out of my business. It's bad enough I hear it constantly from my friends and aquaintances which I join in with jokes about myself. I just feel like rebelling sometimes. JOKE: "How did you like your vacation in Las Vegas?"
" Terrible, I left my glasses at home."
" Oh-oh, did you have trouble seeing the show?"
" No, but I spent the first morning playing a stamp machine."

Sunday, October 16, 2005


Now I'm not trying to make myself sound stupid, but I did something funny by mistake yesterday. My daughter gave to me last week this little spritz cologne bottler of Rasberry Bloom. She took me out to eat for lunch and dinner and shopping. I used the cologne she gave to me but I didn't care too much for the smell. She always asks me if I liked it. I wore it when she picked me up. My grandaughters commented on how good I smell. I said thanks to your mom. She asked the name of the fragerance. When I told her, she busted out loud laughing and informed me it was a room deoderizer. We all laughed so hard. Well at least I didn't try to eat it, after all it had a food name to it. Maybe I'm not the food-a-holic I always say I am. I knew of an alcoholic who would go to neighbors to ask for liquid items to borrow and drink them if they had an alcohol base. How sad to be so dependent on outside things to make a person feel good inside or happy and contented. I had my share cravings that I was able to finally control. I have one more thing that has a tendency to call out to me many times and that is unhealthy food.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Don't feel bad for me,
me's very happy, you see.
My face and tresses are fine.
My man thinks I'm divine!
by magmem

why this

I love to write, write, and write!!! I chose this blog to write my desires in rite form. It's time to take inventory. Why am I really doing this now? Yea, yea, I need to lose weight. I've struggled in that area a good part of my life. I'm a people pleaser. Is it for their happiness or is it to feed my need for validation? I want to be loved, accepted, appreciated, and accomplish the feeling of success in my personal life. Who doesn't? I've noticed that when I pour out my heart and it's long and boring, there is hardly any (spam) comments at the end of the day on my site. When I keep it at a level of much fewer words, I do see some (spam) comments. With my obsessive malady, I keep checking the computer for what people say about my site. SNAP OUT OF IT! Do a daily journal on your diet dilemmas for yourself!

Friday, October 14, 2005


FACT: A potato raises your blood sugar very gradually. The complex carbohydrates release serotonin in the brain. It's like a natural Prozac.

JOKE: On a recent Caribbian cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Solitude is the refreshment for the soul.


Now that's what I get for patting myself on the back so hard. After a pat comes the boot. I did so good at the function last night and kept my mouth in control. I thought I was doing a nice thing by taking a bag of candy to give to this nice lady on the bus tomorrow. Count it all good for the night. Then I made a mistake by staying up until the wee hours after 2:30 am and the munchies hit me. I actually stayed up and battled with the thought of just eating one piece of candy. Normally, I run to bed and the bad thoughts for me go off to la-la land. Not, I had to get over confident and do just one, one more time, to finish off the week in great victory. I'm not quite as strong as I need to be to make, constantly, healthful choices that will bring down my weight in a steady manner. No words of wisdom for me today? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Get up, brush yourself off, and start all over again, stay in the race to live longer.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


FACT: Garlic can be a natural antibiotic; antibactrerial and antiviral.

JOKE: Has your neighborhood supermarket ever offered to send for you with a limo?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Self pity is a sense of entitlement.

pat on the back

I have access to a free large three layer bar cake about once every ten days. Being the wimp that I am in giving in to my every craving, I always accomodate myself. I immediately put it in the freezer to keep from eating it up in two days, the norm for me. I did look at it every time I passed the frig. It's been one week and I have a chance to take it with me as a dessert when I go somewhere tonight. I am so jazzed that I made it this long and overcame the temptation! I will have one piece at the function only. I get a pat on the back from me, which can go a long way like a shove in the right direction.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, then accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.

One of the most important factors influencing your weight-loss success is your belief in your ability to follow through and do it this time for sure. Perfection is not as important as perserverance!

The best motivation and discipline for losing weight has to come from within one's self. You can not lose weight for your boyfriend, your family, your parents, your friends, your doctor, your job, your spouse, or for any insurance company.

my wake up call

This works for me to review my journal and see what's going on. 7-11-05 I started my program of change. 8-05-05 I went off of it on a vacation. I have lost 36.50 pounds with just moving more. I am on a gaining streak of 16.25 pounds because of slowing down and being too busy to stop in the weight room for some bike riding. Yes, I am a backslider, the yo-yo game has always been my cup of tea full of excuses. It is now time to ride some more, and focus on additional tools of enhancement like maybe: cutting down on calories, making a colorful graph (I love visual stimulants), try low carbohydrate and low glycemic index foods, and finally for now to practice saying no or looking the other way when temptation comes in view! Ya Ya, I am full of self-pep talks.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

to whom it may concern

Thank you all for the encouragement on my barely visited blog site. I am not buying or selling anything. I am just now learning about computers and I try to visit your listed sites to comment but I don't always succeed. I did find one word that was very offensive but here's to free speech!

can't get enough

I am an obsessive compulsive person. I can easily take any one of my likes and stretch it to the limit without a second thought. I am somewhat immature with seeking instant gratification. When I am hungry I want to eat now, what I want, and as much as I can stuff in my stretched out belly. I even eat in seclusion so no one can judge me. The more somebody tries to help me in my choices of food, the more I feel like rebelling. That all sounds like serious issues to me. I guess you can also call me an emotional eater. What do I call it when I feel the same same way about listening to music loud and long, gushing over living creatures, and renting four to six videos for the night? I know, lack of control in every way! I know I can change, I will change, and I am in a long process of choosing to be more aware and incorporate moderation. You go girl.


You won't sit next to me,
my fat is catchy, so I see.
Someone might think we're together?
My bleeding heart is tight like leather.
by magmem

Monday, October 10, 2005


This is your conscience speaking, are you watching what you're eating? In my brain last night, my conscious and my rational side were at battle. Needless to say my conscious won and dished me out a nightmare with a trailer. It all had nothing to do with food. I had a wake up call. I jumped on the scale and saw a nine pound gain in one week again. I certainly need to review the hints I jotted down to keep me on track a couple of months ago. These were the changes that were working for me, that I should get back into:
1. take vitamins
2. eight glasses of water daily
3. active daily
4. no food after 7:30 pm
5. journal daily
6. cut down on sugars
7. cut down on salts
8. no second helpings
9. salads almost every day
10. read diet info for inspiration
It seems like a lot to change at one time and it is for me. I started with one a week until I was sure I was ready for another modification. I'm such a BIG baby (a pun), I need structure to keep me in line.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

eating out

I've missed two days of exercising and with the long week end coming up it will be another three days. I can't keep missing five days in a row of using the weight room. That always defeats my last couple of weeks efforts in controling my weight problem. Now I have to eat out again and join in on a family birthday but this will be at a home, no choice there. Oh no, I just got a flash future glimpse of the Halloween party, the Thanksgiving Day Dinner, The whole month of December, and then the New Years Eve party!!!! Will the constant temptations ever slow down? All I want is a little more time to strengthen my program and psych up my shield of resolution. I've done it before and I know I will do it again but it's a progressive process for me. Wish me luck.

Friday, October 07, 2005


If you exercise until you are exhausted, you lose your appetite for a while. You should exercise longer, not harder because too hard can cause muscle damage and possible loss of lean tissue.
Exercising and losing weight are the two most important things to do if you are insulin-resistant.
Your body burns calories more efficiently the first twelve hours of the day.
As long as you exercise, being a little bit heavy may not in itself jeopardize your health.
You may burn as many as 80 calories an hour while you sleep, depending on your weight. The heavier a person is, the more calories they burn an hour.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Food is my inclination,
take it away, I die.
Try behavior modification,
to be thin but, why?
by magmem

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


Too often I make other people a priority over myself. I signed up for a little volunteering at a center for two days, it has turned into a weeks worth for at least two weeks. It will interfere with my chances of using the weight room for an hour at least three times a week while I'm there at the center. I guess you have me pegged by now. I have always been a drama queen, I seem to pass the buck, I have an excuse for everything, and I'm forever searching for acceptance.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

eating out

Another birthday dinner at a restaurant, this time I didn't choose what I like to eat. I tried a salad with chicken and it wasn't bad at all, I even felt satisfied and full. (No feeling guilty today.) Avoid those people who tempt you to go off of your diet? If not possible, choose the healthier foods to eat. When making that type of decision you'll find it only reinforces a good behavior.

Monday, October 03, 2005

eating out

Why is it everytime I am in my life changing mode I have to eat out with family when I am not hungry? It always seems to precede my weigh-in, not giving me a chance to work it off. I'm not trying to blame anyone else for my overweight. I need a little more time to regain all of the control necessary to just say no when I'm not hungry. I've been there before and will have more strength as I progress in my journey to being a healthy weight. I am trying to devalue food and make it less important in my heart and mind.

Sunday, October 02, 2005


People on standard weight loss diets who do not incorporate behavior modification to change their bad habits will regain all lost weight within one year, and that includes about 95 to 98 percent of dieters.
If your motivation is strong and you've come to the grips with the recognition of your emotional needs, the changing of your food paterns shouldn't be difficilt.

I like the idea of changing my thinking and my bad habits first before I begin the long life time journey of changing what I eat for the sake of good health. I see it as one step at a time. Of course, I always like to do the easiest things first because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I sort of like chalking things up. The more I do the more I want to continue to do. What works for you?