If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, then accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.
One of the most important factors influencing your weight-loss success is your belief in your ability to follow through and do it this time for sure. Perfection is not as important as perserverance!
The best motivation and discipline for losing weight has to come from within one's self. You can not lose weight for your boyfriend, your family, your parents, your friends, your doctor, your job, your spouse, or for any insurance company.