Wednesday, May 10, 2006

eating-disorder pt. 2 of 2

Disclaimer in part one 05-09-06.

I was from bulimia to anorexia bound. Anorectics can and do die. The more unhealthy you become, the less likely you will be to "pull yourself out of it" on your own. You will need psychological help and be put on a specialized program with structure, possibly medication, and individual therapy. It is a long difficult process. Without getting physically healthier, you are not likely to develop insight or good judgment.

The only thing that saved me from becoming addicted to that life style was the fact that I loved the taste and the smell of food. I didn't give my body a chance to grow accustom to starving extremely so that my metabolism slowed way down to fight starvation. I began to get somewhat educated on both eating disorders and proper nutrition. It's all about balance! Calories in should be equal to the energy put out. Moderation in all things is a happy, healthy attitude, I have been a fool. To have knowledge and not use it consistently has put me in a bad place. Now I have to suffer the consequences of complications that arise from poor eating habits. I am not giving up . I will be a survivor. Slow but sure is fine with me. In the last two years with some ups and downs I have kept off sixty pounds! Have a healthy day......

1 comment:

Chana said...

Hello sweet. Glad that you are blogging because then i feel closer to you through your words. What kind comment you left for me and you think that i'm the one that does the cheering. Well, i'm here to tell you that i look forward to every letter i read from you. That they either make me feel warm all over or put a huge smile on my face or both....I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful that i started blogging to meet so many wonderful hearts like you. I may not know you from a crowd in the physical sense but i know your heart...and i'm grateful for that. I will happily send you pictures asap...I love our friendship. I love you. I love that i know where i can find you and read a little about you. I love that you can make dieting sound so unbelievable interesting and desirable. I love that you are out there in the world. Don't give up. Of course it's easy for me to say for i'm not the one suffering your pain. But i have been there, carrying my own cross and plenty of times, alone i felt and desperate and someone held out some love or faith in me just enough to let me see some sunshine. Just enough to shine a small light in such darkness. I have given up many, many times. I wish i could say otherwise but it would be a lie. I think it's only human to want to leave our pain behind. God however has choosen otherwise for me and for you. We are both still here. We both have much to learn, teach others as you teach me and you do, i can assure you. We both have much to Serve Him. And in doing that he lifts our cross just enough that we forget our sadness and begin to laugh again. He has always lifted my silly crosses just in time before i'm ready to fall....He does the same for all. He will and has for you. He loves you and me, sinners and human in all possible ways....And he still wants us here to do His will and plan. So hang on. Hang on to Him as i know you do. And please stop beating yourself over your humaness. We all commit sins. Not one of us is perfect. Not one of us is better than the other. We have all done much to feel ashamed of but if He forgives us and He does, we have to forgive ourselves. I know it's hard. You love your kids. I know that because i can see your heart in all your words and it's huge and full of joy and pride and sweetness for all. And if you can give such things to me, a stranger, than i can imagine how much you feel for your children. You are their mama and nothing is better than that. The past is the past and we move on hopefully learning and hoping for a better future. And just so you know i tell myself this often too. But this time i tell you because i wish peace of heart and mind for you. You are good. YOu are loved. You are not a failure. You are not a bad mother. You are a child of God.