Monday, April 03, 2006

gain

The scale in the weight room registered a five pound gain this morning. I'm not going to wonder why. Saturday evening I ate a whole pound cake by myself, one pound of butter and one pound of sugar. That certainly warrants the five pound gain. Everytime I talk about the good efforts I put forth, I receive comments about how committed I am. Those pats on the back always makes me too confident and I let my guard down and I tell myself you deserve to cheat. After all, an extra workout will balance it out. Then, something comes up and I never make it to the weight room. Feeling guilty is a real damper on motivation. Being put on the spot and pressured and feeling overwhelmed doesn't make things any easier. I received a really cute and dressy jersey for my birthday. Now I have a perfect top for a wedding in three months. The draw back is the size is way too small. It will take about a 60-70 pounds loss to fit in it comfortably. I can't lose that much weight in such a short time! I keep telling people not to buy me clothes, but no one listens, every single year, and every holiday. I guess you can tell I'm not in a good mood, there are times I don't like myself. When that happens, I can't muster up motivation or energy for much of anything. No big deal, tomorrow is another day, another chance is always close at hand, of course, unless the over weight takes its toll.

1 comment:

Chana said...

Look in the mirror my friend and you will see a beautiful person. Underline person:human. So be in a bad mood, why not? Where is there a rule that saids if things suck today we can't allow ourselves to feel yuck! Human also fall. Even Our Lord fell, the point is to get up-when we are ready. So take your time, enjoy the fact that you ate a delicious cake and forgive yourself, it's just a cake and a few lbs. It doesn't mean you are a failure, it means you are a human. For one i'm quite glad that you are not an allien writing blogger-I'm way too chicken to handle that :) . I literally gain lbs everytime i drink/eat anything...It's ok. It will be ok. Promise. Hugs.