mistake

Now I'm not trying to make myself sound stupid, but I did something funny by mistake yesterday. My daughter gave to me last week this little spritz cologne bottler of Rasberry Bloom. She took me out to eat for lunch and dinner and shopping. I used the cologne she gave to me but I didn't care too much for the smell. She always asks me if I liked it. I wore it when she picked me up. My grandaughters commented on how good I smell. I said thanks to your mom. She asked the name of the fragerance. When I told her, she busted out loud laughing and informed me it was a room deoderizer. We all laughed so hard. Well at least I didn't try to eat it, after all it had a food name to it. Maybe I'm not the food-a-holic I always say I am. I knew of an alcoholic who would go to neighbors to ask for liquid items to borrow and drink them if they had an alcohol base. How sad to be so dependent on outside things to make a person feel good inside or happy and contented. I had my share cravings that I was able to finally control. I have one more thing that has a tendency to call out to me many times and that is unhealthy food.

poem#6

Don't feel bad for me,
me's very happy, you see.
My face and tresses are fine.
My man thinks I'm divine!
by magmem

why this

I love to write, write, and write!!! I chose this blog to write my desires in rite form. It's time to take inventory. Why am I really doing this now? Yea, yea, I need to lose weight. I've struggled in that area a good part of my life. I'm a people pleaser. Is it for their happiness or is it to feed my need for validation? I want to be loved, accepted, appreciated, and accomplish the feeling of success in my personal life. Who doesn't? I've noticed that when I pour out my heart and it's long and boring, there is hardly any (spam) comments at the end of the day on my site. When I keep it at a level of much fewer words, I do see some (spam) comments. With my obsessive malady, I keep checking the computer for what people say about my site. SNAP OUT OF IT! Do a daily journal on your diet dilemmas for yourself!

misc.

FACT: A potato raises your blood sugar very gradually. The complex carbohydrates release serotonin in the brain. It's like a natural Prozac.

JOKE: On a recent Caribbian cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Solitude is the refreshment for the soul.

boot

Now that's what I get for patting myself on the back so hard. After a pat comes the boot. I did so good at the function last night and kept my mouth in control. I thought I was doing a nice thing by taking a bag of candy to give to this nice lady on the bus tomorrow. Count it all good for the night. Then I made a mistake by staying up until the wee hours after 2:30 am and the munchies hit me. I actually stayed up and battled with the thought of just eating one piece of candy. Normally, I run to bed and the bad thoughts for me go off to la-la land. Not, I had to get over confident and do just one, one more time, to finish off the week in great victory. I'm not quite as strong as I need to be to make, constantly, healthful choices that will bring down my weight in a steady manner. No words of wisdom for me today? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Get up, brush yourself off, and start all over again, stay in the race to live longer.

misc.

FACT: Garlic can be a natural antibiotic; antibactrerial and antiviral.

JOKE: Has your neighborhood supermarket ever offered to send for you with a limo?

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Self pity is a sense of entitlement.

pat on the back

I have access to a free large three layer bar cake about once every ten days. Being the wimp that I am in giving in to my every craving, I always accomodate myself. I immediately put it in the freezer to keep from eating it up in two days, the norm for me. I did look at it every time I passed the frig. It's been one week and I have a chance to take it with me as a dessert when I go somewhere tonight. I am so jazzed that I made it this long and overcame the temptation! I will have one piece at the function only. I get a pat on the back from me, which can go a long way like a shove in the right direction.

facts

If in your heart you are not willing to do what is necessary to be thinner, then accept yourself the way you are. Quit browbeating yourself with half hearted diet attempts, failure, and guilt. Use the energy to live the way you want to. (May as well die happy.) Sometimes just stopping from putting your life on hold has a way in turning things around for a change.

One of the most important factors influencing your weight-loss success is your belief in your ability to follow through and do it this time for sure. Perfection is not as important as perserverance!

The best motivation and discipline for losing weight has to come from within one's self. You can not lose weight for your boyfriend, your family, your parents, your friends, your doctor, your job, your spouse, or for any insurance company.

my wake up call

This works for me to review my journal and see what's going on. 7-11-05 I started my program of change. 8-05-05 I went off of it on a vacation. I have lost 36.50 pounds with just moving more. I am on a gaining streak of 16.25 pounds because of slowing down and being too busy to stop in the weight room for some bike riding. Yes, I am a backslider, the yo-yo game has always been my cup of tea full of excuses. It is now time to ride some more, and focus on additional tools of enhancement like maybe: cutting down on calories, making a colorful graph (I love visual stimulants), try low carbohydrate and low glycemic index foods, and finally for now to practice saying no or looking the other way when temptation comes in view! Ya Ya, I am full of self-pep talks.

to whom it may concern

Thank you all for the encouragement on my barely visited blog site. I am not buying or selling anything. I am just now learning about computers and I try to visit your listed sites to comment but I don't always succeed. I did find one word that was very offensive but here's to free speech!

can't get enough

I am an obsessive compulsive person. I can easily take any one of my likes and stretch it to the limit without a second thought. I am somewhat immature with seeking instant gratification. When I am hungry I want to eat now, what I want, and as much as I can stuff in my stretched out belly. I even eat in seclusion so no one can judge me. The more somebody tries to help me in my choices of food, the more I feel like rebelling. That all sounds like serious issues to me. I guess you can also call me an emotional eater. What do I call it when I feel the same same way about listening to music loud and long, gushing over living creatures, and renting four to six videos for the night? I know, lack of control in every way! I know I can change, I will change, and I am in a long process of choosing to be more aware and incorporate moderation. You go girl.

poem#5

You won't sit next to me,
my fat is catchy, so I see.
Someone might think we're together?
My bleeding heart is tight like leather.
by magmem

conscience

This is your conscience speaking, are you watching what you're eating? In my brain last night, my conscious and my rational side were at battle. Needless to say my conscious won and dished me out a nightmare with a trailer. It all had nothing to do with food. I had a wake up call. I jumped on the scale and saw a nine pound gain in one week again. I certainly need to review the hints I jotted down to keep me on track a couple of months ago. These were the changes that were working for me, that I should get back into:
1. take vitamins
2. eight glasses of water daily
3. active daily
4. no food after 7:30 pm
5. journal daily
6. cut down on sugars
7. cut down on salts
8. no second helpings
9. salads almost every day
10. read diet info for inspiration
It seems like a lot to change at one time and it is for me. I started with one a week until I was sure I was ready for another modification. I'm such a BIG baby (a pun), I need structure to keep me in line.

eating out

I've missed two days of exercising and with the long week end coming up it will be another three days. I can't keep missing five days in a row of using the weight room. That always defeats my last couple of weeks efforts in controling my weight problem. Now I have to eat out again and join in on a family birthday but this will be at a home, no choice there. Oh no, I just got a flash future glimpse of the Halloween party, the Thanksgiving Day Dinner, The whole month of December, and then the New Years Eve party!!!! Will the constant temptations ever slow down? All I want is a little more time to strengthen my program and psych up my shield of resolution. I've done it before and I know I will do it again but it's a progressive process for me. Wish me luck.

facts

If you exercise until you are exhausted, you lose your appetite for a while. You should exercise longer, not harder because too hard can cause muscle damage and possible loss of lean tissue.
Exercising and losing weight are the two most important things to do if you are insulin-resistant.
Your body burns calories more efficiently the first twelve hours of the day.
As long as you exercise, being a little bit heavy may not in itself jeopardize your health.
You may burn as many as 80 calories an hour while you sleep, depending on your weight. The heavier a person is, the more calories they burn an hour.

poem#4

Food is my inclination,
take it away, I die.
Try behavior modification,
to be thin but, why?
by magmem

priority

Too often I make other people a priority over myself. I signed up for a little volunteering at a center for two days, it has turned into a weeks worth for at least two weeks. It will interfere with my chances of using the weight room for an hour at least three times a week while I'm there at the center. I guess you have me pegged by now. I have always been a drama queen, I seem to pass the buck, I have an excuse for everything, and I'm forever searching for acceptance.

eating out

Another birthday dinner at a restaurant, this time I didn't choose what I like to eat. I tried a salad with chicken and it wasn't bad at all, I even felt satisfied and full. (No feeling guilty today.) Avoid those people who tempt you to go off of your diet? If not possible, choose the healthier foods to eat. When making that type of decision you'll find it only reinforces a good behavior.

eating out

Why is it everytime I am in my life changing mode I have to eat out with family when I am not hungry? It always seems to precede my weigh-in, not giving me a chance to work it off. I'm not trying to blame anyone else for my overweight. I need a little more time to regain all of the control necessary to just say no when I'm not hungry. I've been there before and will have more strength as I progress in my journey to being a healthy weight. I am trying to devalue food and make it less important in my heart and mind.

facts

People on standard weight loss diets who do not incorporate behavior modification to change their bad habits will regain all lost weight within one year, and that includes about 95 to 98 percent of dieters.
If your motivation is strong and you've come to the grips with the recognition of your emotional needs, the changing of your food paterns shouldn't be difficilt.

I like the idea of changing my thinking and my bad habits first before I begin the long life time journey of changing what I eat for the sake of good health. I see it as one step at a time. Of course, I always like to do the easiest things first because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I sort of like chalking things up. The more I do the more I want to continue to do. What works for you?