overeating

One of my bad habits that had caused me to become obese and still haunts me to the point that I find it hard to feel full unless I overeat at times. I can recall being very very hungry many times in my lifetime. I use to look forward to my mom coming home from work, and the excitement for me was focused on the dozen of glazed doughnuts she always got from work. I thought the gnawing feeling in my stomach was a normal thing. I was embarrassed a lot of times in school because my stomach was always growling and making loud noises the other kids could hear, sometimes when the teacher was talking. I use to think how happy the kids must be when the individual milk cartons arrived in class for them to drink (for those who paid ahead of time.) I use to watch and dream someday I am going to choose some chocolate milk for myself. No breakfast, no lunch, going home feeling famished. On the bus all I could think about was the elbow macaroni with Cambell's creamed soup that will be there cooking for dinner. To this day I like crappy food. Once when I was about eleven years old I can't remember why I was alone but I could sneak in the food closet and eat anything my heart desired. All I saw was a big onion and a package of spaghetti. I can eat the pasta, let's see what the frig has to offer in the form of a sauce. No exaggeration, it was bear other than mustard. You better believe I had mustard pasta and was happy. We'll stop here for now at eleven years old. I see a conditioned pattern forming. (Someone suggested I put some spice in my entries and talk about personal stuff, this wasn't my idea.) What did one candle say to the other candle? Are you going out tonight?