gross

I know I'm always talking about myself in this blog but that's because, I have a problem, and problems are solved easier by brain storming and seeing it all in black and white. I am obese according to weight standards. I constantly am aware of a need for change if I want to be healthier, live longer, feel minimal pain, increase my energy, raise my endurance level, learn flexibility, extend my bone mass, and not have a "grossness" to my body. The dictionary has grossness and obesity in the same definition line. If I have to see one more time on television, that lady who lost around 275 pounds with extra pounds and mounds of skin that needed to be surgically removed, I'm going to pass out from the grotesqueness; maybe even stop dieting. What will I do with all of that excess skin and no money for op? The way I see it, I have a natural botox injection system built in my face. I even have a sister who had By-Pass surgery over a year ago and wishes she never had it done. Are we ever really satisfied? In my opinion, satisfaction to me is peace of mind in knowing who I am, where I am going, and what is my contribution to life. I have to remind myself not to look for satisfaction in the taste of food or the fullness there of. Instant gratification is fleeting and misleading. There can be times when I think I'm hungry but in a sense, I'm really thirsty. Feed the need? I have noticed when I am on an natural adrenalin high nothing matters to me at that moment but the activity that is stimulating the release of endorphines. That is something that food will never replace if you are an emotional eater. Pick and use your stimulating enjoyment anytime you feel the need to eat improperly. Oops, excuse me it seems like my obsessive compulsion has taken over my blog entry!!! Shalom!