diet dilemma/fat battles

My mental and physical struggle with small weight gains that have mounted up to morbid obesity. This is my journal of talking to myself and looking for small successes in attempting to change my life style of living to eat. The quest here is to change my inside before I attempt to do the body work. You will see how I discover what I'm doing wrong in my hand to mouth automation. (I was also pleasured with cigarettes. I am thankful that addiction is in check now.)